


How Firm a Foundation

by CeleryThesis



Category: Figure Skating RPF, Olympics RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-31
Updated: 2014-08-09
Packaged: 2018-01-17 15:32:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 30,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1392904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CeleryThesis/pseuds/CeleryThesis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Prequel to Yet Another Brick, in the same universe as Burnin' Down the House.</p>
<p>This is a work of fiction and not a reflection of the real lives and relationships of the people involved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Canton, Michigan

April 2005

 

Meryl Davis and her parents walked into the conference room at the Arctic Edge Figure Skating Club.  Meryl had been there several times before to work on choreography with Marina Zueva, but this was different than a training session.  Charlie White, her ice dance partner of eight years was already there with his parents.  Marina and Igor Shpilband walked in behind the Davises and shut the door.

Meryl hadn't seen Charlie in about two months. His hair was longer than she had ever seen it. She looked down at his ankle, broken in the late fall.  He had a brace on it.  Meryl didn't see crutches.  She gave him a little smile and sat across the table from him. Her hands were shaking out of nervousness, so she hid them under the table.

One Saturday night last November, she had heard her mother on the phone.

"Oh, no!  Oh my gosh!  Oh, I'm so sorry.  Do you want me to come over there? Do you need anything--food, drinks, change of clothes, something to read? Okay, I'll be there in the morning, give him our love."

Meryl was already in tears.

"Is it Grandpa?"

"No, sweetie, it's okay." Cheryl Davis brushed her daughter's hair out of her face and wiped away the tears.

"It's Charlie.  He broke his ankle this afternoon."

"What?" She had just seen him this morning at the rink. They were training for Sectionals.

"He broke it at hockey practice.  He's going to have surgery tonight, and we'll go see him in the morning."

"Well, how long will he be out?" Meryl cringed that her first thought was about their upcoming competitions instead concern that her partner was about to go into surgery... 

"How is he?"

"Meryl, he's okay.  He'll have plenty of pain medication.  I don't know how long he'll be out.  They probably don't know yet."

Meryl drove straight to Target to make a basket of all Charlie's favorite snacks for the hospital.  She went heavy on the chocolate and peanut butter.  She found a small stuffed cocker spaniel that she just couldn't resist.  She bought a white ribbon to wrap around its leg.

She took the basket to him the next day.  Jacqui hugged her, which made Meryl start crying.

"I'm sooo sssorrrry," she said, as Jacqui was looking for a tissue.

"Meryl, don't cry.  _I'm_ sorry. I ruined the season."

"No, it's okay. This is for you." She handed him the basket.

He took out the puppy with a huge smile.  Meryl knew he would love it. He rooted through the rest of the goodies.

"Thanks. Finally some decent food."

Meryl and Charlie were good friends, but they were slightly awkward around each other when they weren't training or on the ice.  They certainly never touched each other unless they were skating together.  Meryl didn't know whether to go for an awkward bed hug, or pat his arm. She had an urge to rub his head, but she didn't have the nerve.  She patted his good foot.  Really brave, there, Davis.

"Well, I'll let you rest."

"Meryl, I told Cheryl we'll call as soon as we know how long he'll be out, and when you can start training again."

Meryl looked at Charlie.  It went unspoken between them that this season was over.  Sectionals were next week, so there would be no way to qualify for Nationals, if he could even skate by then.  They'd had a great season so far in the Junior Grand Prix, getting the bronze in Serbia and Romania.  They were the second alternates for the Junior Grand Prix Finals.  It had exceeded their goals.   Their long time coach had sat them down and told them they needed to move on from him for the next season to someone who could help them train for the next level.  Meryl had been a bit devastated at the thought of leaving Seth, who had put Charlie and her together, and had been with them every step in their journey so far, but she knew he was right.  Most of the teams they were competing against trained full time with successful senior coaches.  She and Charlie were still just high school students who skated in the afternoon along with their other school activities and Charlie's traveling hockey team.  Their Canadian friends, Tessa and Scott, had moved to Michigan and were being home schooled to have lots of training time.  They had finished first and second at their Junior Grand Prixs and had qualified outright for the final.  Meryl wasn't jealous, exactly, because she loved going to school, but she definitely had the sense of being passed up.  And that was before the ankle.

"Okay, feel better soon, Charlie.  Bye, Jacqui." She hugged Charlie's mom before leaving the room and starting up crying again.

As sad as she was to miss out on Nationals and a very good shot at going back to Junior Worlds, Meryl ended up having a dream senior year of high school.  She still trained at the rink, by herself, which she didn't love, but there was no pressure.  She threw herself into school activities she had never made time for like French club, where she was elected president.  She was inducted into the National Honor Society, and she studied harder than ever.  She got into the University of Michigan, her first choice.  Two weeks after she heard from Michigan, she got a text:

**Charlie** : I got in! How about you?

She felt guilty that she had known for weeks and hadn't texted him first.

**Meryl** :  Me, too! How is your rehab going?

**Charlie** :  Boring.  I hate it.  Still six weeks before I can get on the ice.

**Meryl** :  :(

**Charlie** : Congrats on Michigan!  Woohoo!

**Meryl** : You, too!

Their parents had arranged the meeting with Igor and Marina on Seth's advice.  And here they were.

"Charlie, you are cleared to start back training next week?" Igor was looking at Charlie's foot.

"Yes, sir.  I don't really need the brace, but I'm supposed to wear it for a few more days."

"And you two want to train full time? Because you have done very well with Seth, and we think you could continue to progress with him and still have your lives the way they are."

Meryl and Charlie looked at each other. Paul Davis spoke up.

"We all agree that it's time to take the next step."

"Okay, then.  Let's talk about what it will entail.  I understand you both have been accepted at university?"

"Yes," Charlie said for both of them.

"We think you should defer a year, and focus only on training.  You haven't had enough dance, and you certainly haven't had enough cross training. It is remarkable how well you have done with as little time as you have devoted, but next year will be only skating."

Meryl felt like she was being scolded.

"Charlie. No more hockey.  You devote all of your energy to your skating.  You may continue to train singles, if you wish, but it will be secondary to dance."

Meryl's heart dropped to her feet.  There was no way he would give up hockey.  No way. It was his first love; it was the reason he got out of bed.  His dream was to play in the NHL.  It was over.  They were over. She couldn't bear to look at him.

"Charlie understands that," Jacqui said the words.  Meryl's head shot up and found Charlie's eyes.  She couldn't believe it.

"We're going to leave you to talk it over, let us know when you're ready." Igor and Marina left the room.

"Guys, can I have a second just with Meryl?" Charlie spoke to the parents while Meryl was still in shock.  The two couples left their children in the room alone.

"What do you think?" Charlie looked at her nervously.

"You are really willing to give up hockey?"

"Meryl, I decided that months ago.  I like hockey, but I'll never be great at it.  We have a real shot at this."

"Charlie, you are an amazing hockey player. You are so focused, and no one has better skating skills. You know there's a reason that the coach took you even though you were going to have to miss for competitions.  Don't sell yourself short."

"Are you trying to talk us out of this? I understand if you really want to start college next year."

Meryl was going to cry yet again.  Ugh, what a baby she was.  She tried to stay composed.

"I _am_ looking forward to college, but my biggest dream...is skating with you."  She looked down at the table.

"Okay, then let's do it.  Michigan will still be there in a year." He got up to let the parents know what they had talked about. Meryl breathed in deeply, trying to keep it together.  She watched Charlie move with ease to the door.  All six were in agreement, and they called back the coaches.

"Great, great. We're very happy to have you on board. Be ready, though, it will be different from how you have trained in the past.  We will start right after you graduate."

Meryl was relieved that she would get to finish her senior year the way she had dreamed.  She even had a date to prom. She wondered if Charlie did.

"Charlie, your hair." Marina walked over to him and ruffled it. "Don't cut it again, I have a vision."

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Ljubljana, Slovenia

March 2006

 

Meryl and Charlie were skating towards the boards after their free dance in the Junior World Championships.

"What do you think?" He leaned in close to speak in her ear, the crowd was really loud--that had to be a good sign.

"I don't know. The twizzles were really good.  Beyond that, I have no idea."

But Igor looked very happy as they approached him.  He took Charlie's hand and shook his head.

"That was the best you've ever skated it." The coach pulled Meryl in for a hug.  "Just wait, the scores are going to be huge.  We might have an upset."

They headed to the kiss and cry and watched the replay of the elements on the monitor.  They looked great--Igor was right, it was the best they had skated.  But they were a few points down from the compulsories and the original dance.  Meryl didn't think it was very likely that they were going to pass the Russian team in second or Tessa and Scott in first.

The scores came up, and it was indeed not enough.  They had beaten the Russian team, Natalia and Arkady, in the free dance, but they were still a point behind Tessa and Scott in that segment, and almost five points behind overall.  Still, they had won the bronze, and considering that only last year they couldn't even qualify for Nationals because of Charlie's ankle injury, it was hard to be too upset with third.  But Igor was fuming.

"It's bullshit. It's politics. It's my fault."  Meryl put her arm around him.

"It's not your fault.  We gave away points in the OD, and I'm so happy with how it went today."  She squeezed his shoulder.  She adored Igor.  He was such a good teacher and so supportive of them.  She loved every minute of training with him.  He had become like a favorite uncle to her.

They moved backstage to look at the protocols. 

"All level 4s!" Charlie high-fived everyone in reach.  Meryl looked over the numbers carefully. They had earned two more level fours than Tessa and Scott and they had beaten them on twizzles. But she and Charlie had not earned PCS anywhere near as high as their Canadian friends.

As if on cue, Tessa emerged from the dressing room ready for the medal ceremony.  Meryl grabbed her and they jumped around and hugged. 

"Congratulations! Gold!"

"You, too!  I saw your free, it was so good, Meryl! Your twizzles!"

"Thanks."  Scott joined his partner and there were hugs all around.  Igor had gotten over his snit and looked thrilled to have two teams on the podium.

 

By necessity, this was Meryl and Charlie's last year in juniors.  Meryl was aging out. They had to make the move to seniors for the next season.  Tessa was two years younger, so they could still come back, but after winning the Junior Grand Prix Final and Junior Worlds, they were going to move up also.  In fact, they had come within three points of qualifying for the Olympics that year, which frankly blew Meryl's mind.

It had been the most exciting and sometimes the most frustrating year of Meryl's life.  She and Charlie had thrown themselves back into training the day he had gotten the all clear from his orthopedist.  Igor and Marina had suggested that they wait to start really training until after their high school graduation, but both skaters were dying to get back on the ice.  The Lake Placid competition was in July, and they really wanted to be ready to compete.  They had only skated their free dance a few times in the previous season, so they were keeping it.  They had gone to Marina for the choreography before they had switched over to her and Igor for coaching.  They were skating to Sarabande, a beautiful movement from Handel's Keyboard suite in D minor.

The original dance was much more of a challenge.  It required Latin rhythms, which they had done before, but never very well.  Marina had them working with Latin ballroom experts, and the results were disappointing to all involved.  Meryl wasn't terrible, and she was very good at the expression, but Charlie was rather hopeless.

"My hips don't move that way." he bemoaned.

"You know your hips don't lie," Meryl teased him with the song that played constantly in the rink and drove Charlie crazy.

"My hips are actually pathological liars."

The patterns for the compulsory dances were all familiar, although the paso doble was proving difficult.  Igor was drilling them technically and Marina wouldn't let up about their expression.  It was so different from their previous experience of focusing almost exclusively on technical mastery. It had paid off, though.  They had won a gold and two silvers on the Junior Grand Prix circuit and had qualified for the final outright, where they also earned silver.

Another change was in their appearance.  Meryl sometimes didn't recognize Charlie, and when she looked in the mirror, she didn't always recognize herself, either.  Charlie had continued to grow his hair out, and that fall, Marina had convinced him to highlight it.  Meryl could hardly believe he went along with, and it made him look like a completely different person. When they skated, Meryl would have her old partner back as his physicality was the same.  His touch was the same.  And then she would see him from behind--who is this person? She had also colored her hair much darker, which was a very dramatic contrast with her pale skin.  Together, the partners looked nothing like the team that last competed in the Junior Grand Prix before Charlie's injury last fall.  The response from both the US officials and the international judges was overwhelmingly positive, so the look was here to stay.

Off the ice, their biggest adjustment was life without school.  Meryl was the more wistful of the two, watching her friends from high school go off to college, while she was still living at home and feeling a bit of an intellectual crisis.  She read constantly and was teaching herself Italian in an online course.  Charlie had less free time and less angst about delaying his education.  He was training as a singles skater every morning at the Detroit skating Club.  He and Meryl would meet up at Arctic Edge in the early afternoon and stay until evening.  He was exhausted all the time. Meryl had an opposite problem.  She didn't have enough to do in the mornings.  She would help her mom around the house, but Cheryl had such a routine down, that Meryl felt like she mostly got in the way.  She had started the school year driving her brother in the morning, but he had gotten his license and didn't need her anymore.  She was aggressively second guessing her decision to delay college.

"I could have taken all my basic classes in the morning, and then I would have a whole year finished. It's not like I'm useful for anything else outside the rink."

Her father, Paul, had heard it one too many times and decided to call her bluff.

"Fine, enroll for the spring semester."

"But, I can't.  There's Nationals and then hopefully Worlds, and then we have to start working on the programs for the senior debut next year."

"And last fall you were competing in Europe four times.  How would that be different?"

"Ugh, Dad, just let me vent."

"Meryl, all I am saying is that if you are unhappy, find a way to change it."

But she wasn't unhappy, really, although she realized she was definitely ready to move out on her own.  The social scene at the rink was much different and in a lot of ways, and much more fun than high school.  There were several teams Meryl and Charlie's age, plus there were the older teams like Tanith and Ben, who didn't hang out with the younger people much, but they were amazingly nice and supportive during training.  Tanith was so beautiful, it was almost painful to look at her at times, but she was one of the kindest women Meryl had met.  She and Ben were in the middle of an Olympic season, but they never pulled rank or showed a diva attitude.  In an example of rare drama, though, Tanith and Tessa did not get along very well.

Tanith had been dating Marina's son Fedor for years, but they'd had a messy breakup. Fedor was as beautiful, in Meryl's eyes, as Tanith.  She could hardly speak to him at the rink where he trained and also helped the ice dance couples with footwork.  But Tessa, who surprised Meryl with her boldness, had started flirting shamelessly with him. He seemed to be very interested.  Tanith felt like they were both throwing it in her face, and told them off.  From that point on, it was very strained between Tessa and Tanith, and it made everyone uncomfortable to be in the same room.  Meryl couldn't imagine trying to train with that much tension between herself and another skater.

On the weekends, all the younger skaters got together to let loose after a long week of training.  Meryl had mostly been a homebody in high school, and she loved having a group of friends to hang out with.  Inevitably, they would drink in someone's secluded backyard if the weather was nice, or drink in someone's basement if it wasn't.  Neither Meryl or Charlie drank much, but it was endlessly fun to hang with them.  Scott was particularly amusing for his tendency to hit on all the girls at two beers in.

"Hey, Merlene Merlie Merlin." He sidled up to Meryl and put his arm around her.

"Hey, Scott. How's it going?"

"You are so hot."

"Thank you, Scott. That is so nice of you to say."

"I think you are gorgeous, the prettiest girl here."

"Wow, what a compliment."

Then he would try to make out with her and she would shoot him down.  Yeah, buddy, the Canadian farm boy next door thing is not working for me--if I wanted the boy next door, I have a much nicer and much better looking one, who is not a drunken perv, but thanks.

Scott would be at practice on Monday with no indication that he had partied most of the weekend, so Meryl had to give him some credit.  His skating was inspiring even if his social skills were a bit lacking.

 

So it was more than a bit surreal to be on the Junior podium with their friends and drinking buddies.  A year before Meryl was hardly talking to Charlie and here they were with medals around their necks.  Next season, they would have to break into seniors while also finally starting at Michigan.  Meryl was so excited she could hardly contain herself as _Oh, Canada_ played in the arena and they looked solemnly at their flags.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Canton, Michigan

February 2007

 

Charlie White was no longer allowed to think while twizzling.  That had been his problem at Nationals.  One tiny second he thought, "Wow, this is going really well!" and boom, his knee was on the ground. Meryl was perfectly in time and kept going, so he had to scramble to catch her.  He saw the tiniest of eye-rolls when he did, and he aptly read her mind, "Stop thinking, Chuck."

Igor, in his very Igor way, had just shook his head.  In spite of the mistake, they earned the bronze in their senior Nationals debut.  That was much better than their public goal of top ten, and also better than their private goal of top five.  They were headed to Worlds in Tokyo next month and had come in fourth at their first Four Continents Championship, beating the American veteran team of Melissa and Denis who had earned silver at Nationals.

Their season had been going on for almost a year.  They had started training their new programs about a week after they returned home from Junior Worlds.  Charlie had made a difficult decision to stop training singles.  He was too afraid of injury, and his results had been somewhat disappointing after all the work he put in.  For the first time in his life, his skating was exclusively ice dance.  He suspected if he could go back in time five years and break the news to his 14 year old self, there would be much wailing and gnashing of teeth that he no longer played hockey or even competed in singles.  Surprisingly, he hadn't really missed it.  Well, most of the time.  He was very wistful about the hockey, especially when one of his former teammates posted on Facebook about this or that triumph.  But he'd had his own glory in the last year, and he really wouldn't change anything.

Giving up singles seemed to make a lot of difference to Meryl, who no longer had to wait until the early afternoon to train.  She had started this season with new purpose, and Charlie had never seen her skate the way she was now.  The programs were perfect for her, to start with.  They had to tango in this year's original dance, and unlike last year's Latin fiasco, they had loved working with the tango specialist.  Meryl's expression was almost as good as the pro's and Charlie was doing his best to match it.  Marina had chosen music from the opera _Prince Igor_ for their free dance.  Meryl had an exotic looking two-piece (well, sort of) costume and wore her hair in a braid down her back. Their elements were harder than any they had ever done, and their difficulty ranked higher even than their training mates, Tanith and Ben.

Still, having difficult elements was one thing, and being able to perform them consistently was another. The lifts were insane.  Charlie was so nervous during the free dance, it somehow helped him skate with a clear mind.  It was like there was no other room for nonsense, unlike sadly the compulsory dance and original dance. They'd had an issue with the former at Skate Canada, and Charlie was still mad at himself over it. Meryl had run into the boards, something he was responsible for preventing.  With her depth perception issues, especially when she had been turning, she had a very difficult time perceiving how close she was to the boards.  He had let his mind wonder for a second and BAM! skate meet board, and down they both went.  Igor was actually proud of them that time, because they popped up immediately and got right back into the pattern, hardly missing any points, but Charlie was furious with himself.  He would never let that happen again.  They finished in fourth in the event, which was higher than they had anticipated.

Their Grand Prix triumph, however, came at NHK.  It was an event where again they finished fourth, but that didn't begin to tell the story.  The first amazing thing was being surrounded at the hotel by...fans? They had fans? The only people who ever acted like fans for them were their skate club buddies who would cheer really loudly before and after their programs.  They had signed a few autographs after winning Junior Nationals last year, but Charlie doubted most of the people knew who they were beyond generic figure skater guy and girl. But in Nagano, they had a rather large group of people with pictures of their past programs and fan art as gifts.  It was incredible.  And the crowd during the competition!  Nothing like what he had experienced as a junior, for sure.  The crowd at Skate Canada had been polite, but perfunctory.  This was a whole new level. They even wanted to interview Meryl and him for Japanese TV.  Charlie wanted to tell them, you know we came in fourth, right?

But there was another triumph.  Meryl and he became the first senior ice dance team ever to earn all level 4s in the technical score for the free dance.  _Ever_.  It was hilarious because they were absolutely buried in PCS and even in the grade of execution, so in spite of all those fours they still came in fourth in the segment, but no one could deny their achievement. Igor walked around for the rest of the month like he had been knighted.  He wanted to make a special banner for them at the rink, but Marina insisted, banners for championships only.

All of this alone would have made for an eventful year, but Charlie and Meryl had also finally started university and had both moved out of their family homes to Ann Arbor. Charlie had a house off-campus he shared with his skating friends Evan Bates and Trevor Young.  He loved being on campus and getting to go to all the sporting events that didn't conflict with his skating schedule.  He also was able to attend class occasionally. He had to study a lot since he had to miss so many classes, and it was much different from high school. 

Meryl had surprised everyone by pledging a sorority and moving into the house.  Charlie had expected her to live in a little dorm room with another quiet girl and study most of the time.  Instead, her social life was full and interesting and not dependent on the Arctic Edge Figure Skating Club and the skaters therein.  She still hung out with them occasionally, but she was much more likely to be with her sisters, or at a campus party, or with some dude from Italy named Marco, who seemed super shady to Charlie.  With his accent and his dark eyes and his...sweaters, Charlie was suspicious of the guy.  He looked like he was straight out of Italian heartthrob central casting.  Meryl looked at him like he was the most fascinating man on earth.  Charlie was baffled.

 **Charlie** :  December 10 3:30 Hey, we're having a done with finals impromptu party. Tessa and Scott are coming up. 

 **Meryl** :  December 10 3:45  Sounds like fun!  Can I bring Marco? He flies back to Torino tomorrow. :(

Gross. And there he was, all over her like he was going off to war in the morning and not just back to mama's house for Christmas.  Such bullshit. Not that he cared.  He was dating a girl, Lauren, from the rink.  She was pretty in a wholesome, American way and very sweet.  He had bought her necklace with a sapphire pendant  for Christmas.  His mom had picked it out.

Still his life at school and at the rink was overall drama free, especially compared to Tanith and Ben.  They had been on tour for the spring and summer and were really late to start their new programs. Marina had picked for them a show-tunsey number called _That's Entertainment_ that was supposed to play off Tanith's Hollywood good looks.  The program didn't measure up, though, to their past work.  It also didn't measure up to Meryl and Charlie's dramatic and powerful _Prince Igor_ or Tessa and Scott's romantic and beautiful _Valse Triste_. It stood out like an embarrassing blemish among the the other teams, inexcusable for the reigning Olympic silver medalists. They had won Cup of Russia in spite of the program but were beaten by the Russian team of Oksana Domnina and Maxim Shabalin, a team several spots behind them last year, at Cup of China. They qualified easily for the Grand Prix Final, but decided to skip it, chuck their program and start over with music from the movie Amelie. They continued to be extremely professional on the ice, and wonderful friends off, but undeniable tension had arisen between them and Igor and Marina. 

None of this, though, Charlie was thinking about as he twizzled beside Meryl just a few weeks before they were going back to Japan to compete at their first senior World Championships.  Clear your mind, trust your training, skate with her.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Suburban Detroit, Michigan 

May 2008

 

Meryl and Charlie were sitting on the back deck of Meryl's family home.  They had their feet on the railing and were drinking beers and staring off into the large back yard.  After their last finals, Charlie and his roommates had helped Meryl move out of the sorority house back home for the summer. Evan and Trevor had headed back to Ann Arbor, but Cheryl had twisted Charlie's arm to stay for dinner.  Paul was putting steaks on the grill, which made very little arm twisting necessary.

"You know when you're dreaming about your third grade classroom, and everything is exactly how you remember it, and all of your friends are there, and it's your favorite teacher, and you're about to start that science experiment with the potato and the battery?" Charlie looked over at her and smiled.

"Of course!" Meryl laughed.

"And then you look up, and your teacher no longer has a mouth, just a gaping hole under her nose, and your desk is sinking into quicksand, and there are snakes swimming around in it?"

"I hate that!"

"And then the dream flips and you're making out with the girl you had a crush on in 6th grade?"

"Yeah, Charlie, that happens to me all the time."

"That'" sighed Charlie, "Was this season."

 

**Meryl and Charlie's 2007-2008 Dreams and Nightmares**

 

1.  Meryl and Charlie were thrilled to do as well as they did at 2007 Worlds in Tokyo.  Being back in Japan was just as good as the first time. Coming in seventh in their debut Worlds was more than they hoped for.  They were one place behind Tessa and Scott, and their scores were competitive.  Tanith and Ben were disappointed with the bronze, but their free dance was such a huge improvement from how they started the season, that they were happy with a medal overall.

Once again, Igor and Marina started planning for the next season almost immediately.  Meryl was in love with the Eleanor Rigby concept and music from the beginning.  She had grown up listening to her parents' Beatles albums, and Eleanor was her very favorite.  She had been fascinated by the story and had invented scenarios in her head about Eleanor's isolation.  Meryl loved Marina's concept of sleeplessness and depression.  It was their first real adult program.

Meryl felt like she and Charlie were finally adults.  They had both lost their respective virginities.  (They hadn't had a conversation about this, but each knew it about the other.) They were also both no longer with their first "loves." This made Meryl feel very adult. 

Their instant Eleanor Rigby love made up for the fact that Marina was making them skate a traditional Kalinka in very traditional garb for the OD.  Charlie did have a moment of almost walking out, though. Marina styled the entire performance from hair to costumes to tips of fingers.  She had postcards from Russia: one of a curly headed Kalinka boy with flowers on his tunic and cap, and one of a darling braided-haired Kalinka girl with a finger at the tip of her mouth and a twinkle in her eye.  Meryl and Charlie looked every inch like the cards.  Charlie refused to come out of the dressing room at the first fitting.

"She can have the flowers or the hat, but not both." Charlie whispered to Meryl through the curtain.

"Just let me see, she's in the other room talking to the seamstress." Meryl urged him.

"I look fucking ridiculous." He said just as softly.

"Come on, Charlie."

He opened the curtain a crack so she could peek in. His tunic matched her dress perfectly, down to the last blossom.

"Oh!  You are adorable!" She squealed and clapped her hands. Marina came right in and he vanished back.

"Charlie, come out!"

The two moms were right behind Marina.

Charlie, lacking even an ounce of rebellion, did as he was told.

All three women gasped:  Marina in pleasure, Cheryl in dismay and Jacqui in sympathy.

"Is perfect! I love!" Marina had spoken; Charlie was doomed.

 

2.  Charlie missed four weeks of training in the summer because of an ankle infection, and they missed Lake Placid for the first time in years.  They debuted Eleanor Rigby at the newly instituted USFSA Champ's Camp, and the results were mixed.  The judges thought both programs had potential but didn't love either one. The elements were competitive with any team in the world, though, so they gave Marina and Igor time to work on the programs.  They didn't really get Eleanor in particular, which made Meryl sad.There was an undercurrent of _We love Charlie; we're confused by Meryl._ She vowed to herself to work on that program until every flick of her hand was her own Eleanor.

The officials were also confused as to why such a great American team was doing a Russian folk dance.

"They have Russian souls," was not an acceptable response from Marina, but they warily gave tacit approval.

Meryl and Charlie skated Eleanor again at a late summer festival and the response was about the same.  Everyone on the team was concerned. They all loved the music and the concept too much to give it up.  Meryl championed it.  They worked harder than ever before to get ready for Skate America.

 

3.  Judges, US officials and commentators were still underwhelmed with Meryl and Charlie at Skate America in Pennsylvania. They were skunked by Tanith and Ben, who won the event by a mile.  The number two French team, Nathalie and Fabian beat Meryl and Charlie by ten points.  The number one Italians, Federica and Massimo beat them by four. Their plan to climb the world ranks stalled in their first competition. 

They were allowed to use props in the OD, but the judges hated Meryl's yellow handkerchief that Marina thought added so much character.

Igor was the only member of the team who left the event with a sense of optimism.

"We have two weeks until Paris. Let's go home and work."

 

4.  They took a scalpel to the programs.  Charlie was thrilled that the OD hat and the yellow hankie bit the dust.  They ran that program twice a day and every millisecond was examined.  It made it to Paris much improved, but mainly intact.

Eleanor bore the brunt of the changes.  Two lifts and the ending were completely scrapped and replaced with better choices that made more sense character of the program.  Marina focused on Meryl and helped her portray every emotion in the dance.  They got new costumes: grey and black for Charlie, lavender for Meryl.  Meryl loved the beautiful red dress she had been wearing for Eleanor, but as soon as she put the new one on, she got it.  It was so much more Eleanor. 

They scored three points higher in the OD and almost five in the free dance to win the bronze.  They had been secretly hoping for two Grand Prix silvers that season and qualifying for the Grand Prix Final, but it was not to be.  Igor said he was almost glad.

"Marina and I are going to rework Eleanor from start to finish.  They won't know what hit them at Nationals. You will contend for the gold."

 

5.  Tessa and Scott _did_ qualify for the GPF.  They were also skating a Russian folk dance for their OD, a gypsy number to _Dark Eyes_.  Their free dance was to music from the French movie Umbrellas of Cherbourg.  It was a beautiful program, but the French female singer was ever so screechy in parts, and everyone within a mile of Arctic Edge was looking forward to never having to hear it again.  Tanith and Ben had great fun coming up with translations for the lyrics, most of which were hilariously filthy. Meryl and Charlie both spoke enough French to know what the words really were but laughed any way.

Tessa and Scott had won Skate Canada against a very weak field, but that was the luck of figure skating.  They almost won NHK against a very strong field, settling for a silver, a moral victory and a trip to the GPF in Torino.  Meryl and Charlie were very happy for their friends, but jealous.

"We're going to be there next year," Meryl promised Charlie.

"We will never miss it again," he replied.

 

6.  Tanith and Ben and Igor and Marina game home from Torino furious.  They all felt that Tanith and Ben had been robbed of the gold by an inferior Russian team, Oksana and Maxim. Tanith and Ben had led in the OD with their crowd favorite country dance, but they were beaten by three points in the free after they skated their best program of the season.

Meryl and Charlie dealt with adversity by putting their heads down and working as hard as they could.  Tanith and Ben were finding it very difficult to get their rhythm back, though, as they prepared for Nationals.  They were united with their coaches in their anger, their disappointed and their bewilderment at the judging at the GPF.  However, instead of coming together as a team and taking on the world, derision started to creep in.  Tanith felt strongly that they had been cheated, and that Igor and Marina should have figured it out before they were shocked in the kiss and cry.  Ben was just disgusted and demoralized. The coaches tried to rally them, and Igor made the mistake to motivate them negatively.

"You want to lose to Meryl and Charlie at Nationals? You want to lose to Tessa and Scott at Worlds? Keep skating the way you are.  Maybe bring home a bronze from 4CCs."

This made Tanith furious and Ben depressed and neither were motivated by it.

It was extremely uncomfortable for Meryl and Charlie, who did want to beat Tanith and Ben at Nationals, but they didn't want to talk about it, geez.  They put their heads down further and worked the new Eleanor harder.

It gave life to Tessa and Scott, who sensed blood in the water.

"They have the most impressive killer instinct." Meryl told Charlie as they watched the Canadians fly by Tanith and Ben with glee.

"Yeah, it's something."

"I can't even imagine."

"Meryl."

"What?"

"You can more than imagine it."

"Okay, I can, but I don't think I could pull it off."

"Badass Meryl could rule the world."

"Badass Meryl is only a dream."

"Give her time."

 

7.  The new Eleanor landed triumphantly at Nationals.  Meryl and Charlie skated brilliantly in all three segments.  Tanith and Ben had problems in the compulsory dance and original dance.  Meryl and Charlie beat them both times in the technical score, but their teammates led overall because of PCS.  They smashed the free dance, though.  Tanith and Ben's free that season was to selections from Chopin.  It was a gorgeous, classical program.  Tanith and Ben wore elegant black costumes.  This was the program that had been designed to bring the United States its first World Championship in ice dance.  But its designers seemed to be having second thoughts.

Igor and Marina were all smiles when Tanith and Ben brought in a 109, a monster score that Meryl and Charlie had no chance to beat.  But behind their eyes was...reservation? Disappointment? Tanith couldn't read it, but it was not the pure joy she expected.  Igor emphasized once again how much work they needed to do in order to nail down the first two stages.

Nationals Eleanor was an unqualified success.  Dick Button swooned. Everyone in the arena in St. Paul took notice. Their reaction was just as strong...perhaps stronger than it had been for Tanith and Ben.

Meryl's Eleanor felt every emotion from beginning to end.  Charlie was talked into a deep purple shirt to replace the grey. The two shades of purple worked brilliantly for the program.  Meryl wore her hair long and straight.  They looked like young adults for the first time at Nationals, and not the scrappy kids they had been for years.

Igor and Marina were thrilled with their performance and scores.  Igor suggested that they might have been robbed.  Yikes.

 

8\. Tanith and Ben opted out of the Four Continents Championship. They had nothing to gain and everything to lose if Tessa and Scott slipped past them, which the Canadians were fully prepared to do. Igor stayed home with them and the two young teams traveled to South Korea with Marina.  Both skated well, and Meryl and Charlie stayed close to Tessa and Scott in the scores.  The international judges loved the new Eleanor, and Meryl and Charlie broke 100 points in the free dance for the first time ever. It was 15 points higher than their debut at Skate America.

 

9.  Worlds were in Gothenberg, Sweden. All three of Igor and Marina's teams had been training the tango compulsory for weeks and were ready to go.  Meryl and Charlie much preferred the Yankee Polka, which had been the rhythm for Nationals and 4CCs, but they were ready with their fiercest tango faces.  They had a great dance and put up a good score, 34.80, which was fine for them but not terribly competitive.

Tessa and Scott shocked the entire field with a 38.71.  It was their highest ever CD score in international competition.  They were thrilled. Their competitors were scared.

Tanith and Ben looked calm and prepared.  The first three-fourths of their dance was the best of the day. Then out of nowhere on the end of the second tango pattern, Tanith fell.  The crowd gasped.  Tanith, Ben, Igor and Marina were in horrified shock in the kiss and cry. They were just a point ahead of Meryl and Charlie and two and a half points below Tessa and Scott.

 

10.  Undisputed facts:  Tessa and Scott won the World silver medal.  Tanith and Ben came in fourth. Meryl and Charlie came in sixth, barely edging out French Nathalie and Fabian who had beaten them so decisively at Skate America.

 

11\. Everything else about Worlds was in dispute for their little Arctic Edge family.  Tessa and Scott were obviously elated.  Tanith and Ben were obviously devastated. Meryl and Charlie had never been more uncomfortable to be squarely in the middle of their four close friends.

How Igor and Marina felt was a matter of _great_ dispute.

According to Tanith and Ben, they had been unceremoniously dumped a fraction of second after her ass hit the ice in the tango.   Igor went straight from the kiss and cry to politic for a medal for Tessa and Scott.  They no longer cared about Tanith and Ben and could hardly muster any enthusiasm for the rest of their programs. When Tanith and Ben almost made the podium, just missing it by .26, Igor and Marina were nowhere near, both physically (they were last-minute coaching Tessa and Scott, always a risk when you share coaches) but more importantly, emotionally.  Igor couldn't even be bothered to do the math, and Igor always did the math, and Marina was over the moon for Tessa and Scott.  Tanith and Ben who?

According to Tessa and Scott, they had worked their asses off all season and fully deserved their medal.  It had nothing to do with Tanith and Ben choking.  They won the free dance outright, beating teams with far more seniority.  Tessa was having increasing pain in her shins, but she pushed through and trained harder than she had her whole career.  Meryl and Charlie had been way too close at 4CCs, and they set out to show the world that they were the undisputed top Canton team.  Tanith and Ben had let nerves allow them to be out of the running.  Tessa and Scott would not make the same mistake.

Meryl and Charlie didn't know what to think. Tanith, especially was gutted. Her boyfriend, Evan Lysacek a US men's singles skater had withdrawn from Worlds the week before with an injury. He hadn't made the trip.  She relied on Meryl and Charlie for emotional support, which again put them in the middle of their training mates and their coaches.

"I've never felt so dumped. How can we be coached by people who don't care how we do?"

"Tanith, you know they care.  It's just a weird, difficult situation." Meryl smoothed her hair.

"I don't know that they care.  They don't think we're good enough, obviously.  We can't stay with people who don't even want us to win."

"You can't leave!" Charlie was emphatic.  "Where would you go?"

"There are plenty of places that would love to have us.  People have reached out."

Meryl felt a tear in the middle of her stomach.  She loved Tanith and relied on her friendship to get through training every day.  This was beginning to sound like a real possibility.

"Are you serious? Are you really thinking about leaving? Does Ben feel the same way?"

"Ben's been ready to leave since December."

This was shocking.

"Do Igor and Marina have any idea?" Charlie asked her.

"I doubt it, but I seriously doubt they'll care."

Meryl and Charlie both knew that was wrong.  Nothing would set off a competitive fire in their coaches like losing their top couple.

Meryl had the tiniest emotion pop into her gut just then.  She would never admit it to Charlie.  She would miss Tanith and Ben every day. But she realized this was the best career news she had ever had hit her in the face.  If Tanith and Ben were elsewhere, she and Charlie could openly, unabashedly make a play for US number one.  Badass Meryl had grown a strong, anchoring root.

Less than two weeks later, Tanith and Ben made the formal announcement that they were moving to the Philadelphia area to train with legendary Russian coach Natalia Linichuk a former Olympic ice dance gold medalist.

They'd had a very tense meeting with Igor and Marina to inform them of the change.  The coaches were furious and threw themselves into the next season. Marina presented Meryl and Charlie with a brilliant free program set to the opera _Sampson and Delilah_ that they were already starting to train.

 

Charlie had drained his beer and cracked another.  Why not, it was as much of an off-season as they ever got.  Meryl reached over and ruffled his long hair.  No summer cut this year; Sampson had to be ready to go.

"Don't remind me."

"It's very dashing."

"It's hot and annoying."

"Maybe Marina will create a military piece for the next season and you can get a buzz cut." Meryl laughed.

"For the Olympics? No way."

They looked at each other.  It was the first time either had said that word out loud.

"Anyway, here's to next season!" Meryl held out her bottle to Charlie.

"Will it be dream or nightmare?"

"Both, I'm sure." They clinked their bottles and fell into silence again.

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Bloomfield Hills, Michigan

July 2008

 

 **Meryl**   July 30 1:27 AM   Are you awake?

 **Charlie**   July 30 1:29 AM  No.

 **Meryl** July 30 1:30 AM  I am SO sorry, but can you pick me up at the country club?

 **Meryl** July 30 1:31 AM  I broke up with Jacob and he left me here.  I know, you told me so. :(

 **Charlie**   July 30 1:32 AM   He left you at the country club?

 **Meryl** July 30 1:33 AM  Yes.

 **Charlie**   July 30 1:34 AM  I'll be there in 30 min.

 **Meryl** July 30 1:35 AM  I'm okay, don't speed!  I'm so sorry.

 

Meryl had no good options.  She could 1) walk the ten miles home in the middle of the night, 2) call her best friend Brooke, who was recovering from a twisted ankle, 3) call her dad or 4) call Charlie and ask him to drive in from Ann Arbor to rescue her.  That 4 was clearly the best option showed how truly in a pickle she was.  She would never make this mistake again.  Break up with 'em over the phone or in your own driveway.

She hadn't planned to break up with him yet, anyway.  Unsurprisingly, her improvisation didn't work out so well.  He was headed back to Vanderbilt in three weeks anyway (thank goodness for southern universities and their early start times) and she had her whole _it's not you; it's me and my crazy training schedule_ speech planned and ready to go.  But tonight they were hanging around the club where Jacob had a summer job at the golf course.  Jacob and his buddies were getting more and more obnoxious with every beer.  Somewhere between rounds three and four Meryl hit her limit.

"So you're a skater. Are you flexible?" She had never heard that one before.

"You have no idea." Jacob responded.  Gross.

"I'm an ice dancer."

"That's the non-gay kind." Jacob guffawed.

Then the conversation turned to the racial make-up of Detroit, and Meryl was out.  OUT!  Soooooo out.  Jacob called her an ugly name and left.  One of the drunk buddies offered her a ride.  Yeah, no thanks.

Meryl and Jacob were in the same class in high school. He was way out of her league, but she used to stare at him in class.  He was tall with dark hair and brilliant blue eyes.  He was smart and ambitious and only paid attention to the social elites.  Meryl had plenty of friends, but they were in different universes.  She had seen him at a friend's  Memorial Day barbeque last May, and he had finally noticed her.

"I saw you on Sports Center.  You're kind of famous."

"Not anywhere near famous.  Okay, maybe in Japan.  We're huge in Japan."

He thought that was funny.  He was really charming and even better looking than in high school.  They made out a bit at the end of the night, and he was a good kisser.  Perfect summer boyfriend material.  His job at the course worked nicely with her training schedule. 

Training had been a whole new experience that summer. With Tanith and Ben in Philadelphia with a new coach, and Scott and Tessa side-lined with her shin injury, she and Charlie had been the top team in Canton most days.  It was really quiet, and Igor and Marina had no one else to focus on.  Meryl and Charlie were taking advantage of it, but it was intense.  There was a brand new compulsory rhythm for this season, the Finnstep, and it was fast and as difficult as any they had ever learned.  Meryl loved the challenge of it.  The Finnstep was supposed to be danced with a bubbly feel like a glass of champagne.  They wouldn't get to compete with it until Four Continents Championships, but they trained it every day. The other two rhythms were Viennese waltz, which they would skate at Cup of Russia and paso doble, which was the CD for Skate Canada.  They were really focusing on compulsories because they had been buried by them in international competition, and this season they wanted to rise up the ranks from the first round.

Their Samson and Delilah free dance and their 20s Charleston original dance had been unqualified successes at Champs Camp last month.  There were whispers that they could easily challenge Tanith and Ben at Nationals, or if they were really lucky, at the Grand Prix Final.  Meryl and Charlie didn't want to think that far ahead, but they were thrilled that unlike last year, everyone loved their programs. 

Champs Camp was really fun that year, too.  It was very much like summer camp with all their best friends.  It was so nice to hang out with Tanith and Ben, who were dying for Canton gossip.  Meryl and Charlie didn't tell them that Igor and Marina had been on an angry mission ever since their former pupils' departure to avenge their choice to move on. 

"So what's up with Tessa?" Ben asked. They were piled into Meryl's dorm room with a massive bowl of M&Ms.

"She's having surgery in Canada next month.  They're out for Grand Prix, but it's not public. Don't tell anyone."

"Oh, of course not." Tanith was paying attention to the conversation while simultaneously texting her boyfriend.

"Why don't you just tell Evan to come on over."  Meryl could tell by this that Charlie was ever so slightly annoyed, but the other two didn't pick up on it.

"He's going to bed early.  He's got his skates in the morning." 

"We could call Johnny, you _know_ he's up. But that would get you in trouble, right?" Ben teased his partner.

"Oh, shut up!" Tanith flipped an M&M which Ben caught expertly in his mouth.

"You guys are amazing," Charlie laughed.

"So are you still dating GQ?" Tanith asked Meryl. Jacob had made quite an impression on Meryl's female friends.

"Ugh, don't ask." Charlie replied.

"Oh, you don't like him?" Ben flipped another M&M into his own mouth.

"He's a grade A douchebag."

"Hey!" But Meryl knew even then that Charlie was right.  They had almost nothing in common, he was not that interesting and the sex was...largely disappointing. But Meryl felt like she could wait until the end of summer to dump him and save a little face with Charlie, who had hated him instantly.

"You can be a bit of a douchebag if you look like that," Tanith commented.

"He's not a douchebag, and that word is disgusting." It was actually an apt term for him, but Meryl refused to give them the satisfaction.

"So he's the future Mr. Davis?" Ben asked.

"God, no." Meryl replied.

"See!" Charlie was way too gleeful.

"It's a summer romance, and you're a little jealy."

"Except not."

"Oh, a little bit, I think."

"Yeah, I think so, too." Tanith was loving this.

"You both are completely full of shit."  Both women pelted him with M&Ms. 

 

Meryl was freezing on the curb outside the club.  Her sweater was inside Jacob's car.  God, she was an idiot.  She saw Charlie's car approaching about ten minutes before she expected him.

"Thank you. I'm sorry, I fucked this up so royally."

He pulled off his hoodie and handed it to her.

"You're shivering."

"Thank you."

They drove in silence almost all the way to her house.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really, but thank you, Charlie."

"Stop thanking me.  It's fine.  Good riddance."

"Do you want to stay over? You can have my bed; I'll sleep in the guest room."

"No, I'm going to head back.  I'll see you on Monday."

"Okay, thanks Charlie. You have to hear me say it again."

"Get some sleep, Meryl."

She went in quietly trying not to wake her family.  She couldn't wait to move back into the Tri-Delt house in a month.  She thought about Charlie driving all the way back to Ann Arbor.  He was the best thing in her life, she thought as she was brushing her teeth.  She turned off her phone, grabbed her book and curled up into bed.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Ottawa, Canada

November 2008

 

Charlie started the free dance with a pirouette in a back attitude position.  Marina wanted to make a bold statement here:  not that good ol' American hockey boy.  The first half of the program was all lyrical and ballet lines.  The second half was an athletic display.  Every piece of choreography in _Samson and Delilah_ was Marina sending a message to the world through them.  Charlie loved every second.  It was his favorite program he had ever skated.

They were already ten points ahead before they put a skate on the ice on the third day of competition.  If they managed to stay upright, they should walk away with their first Grand Prix win here at Skate Canada.  Tessa and Scott were supposed to be their main competition, but they were still out with her injury.  France's Nathalie and Fabian were here, but they had a disastrous original dance with a fall, and they were way out of it.

 

Charlie was taking nothing for granted.  The day had already started weirdly with the cuff of his Samson costume being too tight. Meryl had to take her manicure scissors to it and cut a slit in the arm hole so it didn't impede his circulation. 

 

Their first lift got oohs from the Canadian crowd.  They had worked on it for weeks before they put it on the ice.  It culminated with Charlie swooping Meryl like a wave while he rotated. She had to keep her core locked-in, which had taken much off ice conditioning. They were finally able to skate it so that it looked beautiful and effortless.

 

Training had been very off for Charlie since Tanith and Ben left.  His entire skating career, he had been surrounded by friends at the rink.  He loved training growing up because there were endless buddies to joke around with at the boards and in the locker-room.  There were still other students at Arctic Edge, but they were younger and not close to Charlie and Meryl's level.  In addition to their American teammates being with a new coach, Tessa and Scott had hardly been in Canton since they took time off for her leg surgery.  Scott was training at a rink near his family's home in Ontario, and Tessa was in physical therapy there.  This made Meryl and Charlie Igor and Marina's sole focus a lot of the time, and while it was paying off remarkably in their preparation for this season, Charlie was not having much fun.

Their original dance was insanely fast and difficult.  He had to keep up an expression of joy (they were supposed to be at a 1920s dance party) the whole time while he was killing himself to get all the elements in and keep up with the choreography.  Meryl's intensity level was set at 11--there was a step in the dance where she clapped her hands, and she clapped so loudly, it could be heard in the last row of the arena.  Meryl was always intense in her skating, but this was a new level for her.

Charlie couldn't deny that Meryl was thriving in their current training situation.  She loved the extra time and attention and the calmer atmosphere at the rink.

"I keep wanting to skate over to Ben and commiserate," he told her after practice one day.

"I like the quiet."  She laughed.  "I am looking forward to seeing them again, though," she conceded, not entirely convincingly.  They were training a new compulsory, the Finnstep, and it was ridiculously complex.  Meryl flew through it everyday with a look on her face that she would rather be dancing it...with him?...than be doing anything else. When they finished the pattern, he would be doubled over and she would be giggling in a grunty way that revealed she was just as fatigued but still so gleeful.  She loved the original dance, too, which was thoroughly eating his lunch every day.

"It's getting better, Chuck.  Maybe Marnia will only make us do it three times tomorrow." She skated over and laughingly punched him in the arm. 

 

They had a step in the free dance where Meryl skated in a straight line on center ice while Charlie leaned most of his weight on her and skimmed the ice on the side of the blade.  It was supposed to represent how dependent Samson was growing on Delilah and how she controlled him.  Again, the audience showed their appreciation in exactly the right place.

 

The original dance had been good, but not great here.  Charlie stumbled during the side by side footwork, like he often did in practice.  He also was a quarter beat behind Meryl for some of the choreography.  She was so fast and so into this dance.  He was going to match her eventually if it killed him.  It was incredibly challenging.  She became a little flapper girl in this dance; she embodied it head to toe from the second she stepped on the ice until they got into the kiss and cry. 

 

They had increased the difficulty in their twizzles by adding a hop into the second set into their less dominant side.  Igor asserted strongly that it was the most difficult twizzle pass of any currently competing team.

The last minute of the free dance was a bit frantic.  They still had a lot of work to do to make it as smooth and seamless as the rest of the program. But they had time.  And compared to last year's Eleanor Rigby debut, they were months and months ahead.  The crowd was really appreciative.  Charlie was very, very happy and excited to start the season like that.

Marina was pleased but a bit muted in the kiss and cry, but generally happy.  They realized that at some point, Meryl's blade had scraped his arm where his sleeve had been cut.  Charlie couldn't feel anything yet.  The scores came up, and they had indeed won their first senior competition.  They hustled back stage to look at their scores and celebrate their win.  4 level 4s, 2 level 3s and, curiously, a level 2 on a lift.  Marina was loudly confused about that one.  Still, great debut and win!  Charlie's arm was starting to hurt a bit. Nathalie and Fabian had skated disappointingly again in the free and had slipped to bronze behind a young Canadian team, Vanessa and Paul.

"Yay, we beat a 16 and 17 year old!" Charlie teased Meryl.

"Hey, they both had birthdays last week.  They're 17 and 18 now.  And you know what they say about a win."

"Absolutely."  He hugged her.

The crowd greeted them warmly for the medals, and for the first time in their senior career, they got to hear the _Star Spangled Banner_ played for them.  They were competing in Russia for the first time for their next Grand Prix.  Igor was going with them this time, and they were so excited.

"Moscow in three weeks!" Meryl whispered to him as they left the ice with their medals.

"I can't wait!"

 

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

Moscow

November 2008

 

**Meryl**

 

It was very hard not to be overwhelmed at Cup of Russia.  The skaters were staying in a hotel in the suburbs with an hour and a half commute to the venue.  That meant that they had to be ready to go by 6:30 in the morning and weren't back at the hotel until after 10:00 P.M.  Meryl preferred to spend most of her time at competitions in her hotel room, arriving at the arena for practice and then going back to rest until it was time to skate.  That was obviously not an option.  She packed her book, snacks, lots of water, all of her hair and make-up stuff and waited for transport before the sun even looked like it was thinking of rising the day of the compulsories.  They had to do Viennese Waltz, so she had fixed her hair in kind of a messy up-do, and she had a tiny tiara on her head.  She had learned years ago that the best way to guarantee you were bringing your head piece was to wear it.

Charlie emerged from the elevator minutes later looking dead tired and toting a garment bag with his tux and her dress.

"Let's do a double check before we get on the train," she suggested.  "It's not like we can come back." 

Four skates--check.

Costumes--check.

Charlie had nothing to eat or read, but he assured her he would be fine.

Hair stuff, make-up, extra socks--check, check and check.  She was already wearing her tights.

"Okay, now or never."  They began their journey.  Meryl got a couple of side-eyes from her fellow mass transit travelers because of the tiara.  Typical American girl, thinks she's a princess. Fatigue gave way to nerves and excitement.

After a long day of waiting and boredom (Charlie had eaten most of her snacks, of course.) it was finally time to warm-up for this first phase.  They were competing against the two top Russian teams, plus their Italian friends Anna and Luca and an Israeli brother and sister team among the other, less competitive teams.  The two Russian men, Sergei and Maxim were both head to toe in white.

"I should have let Marina put me in a white tux," Charlie laughed.

"God, no, do you see them?"

"Don't hate, Meryl.  The white skate covers are amazing."  

"Shudder."

Meryl was wearing a beautiful cream gown with brown accents.  They both looked quite understated in comparison, but they also looked like they could go straight to an inaugural ball and not...the circus.  Bad Meryl.

Their dance was like a dream; edges in the right place, high, matching free-legs, close body position.  Exactly like they had practiced it.  They got a nice 35+ score.  Third behind the two Russian teams, but that was to be expected.  Igor was very pleased.  They were scheduled for an original dance practice after, and it went fine.  Charlie was a little over his boots for most of the dance, and the pacing was a bit off.  It was so fast, though, and impressive enough that the other couples stopped at watched them for part of it.  Jana, Sergei's partner, came over to Meryl at the end and hugged her.

"I love your program!" She said in perfect English.  Meryl answered her as best she could in broken Russian, which got her another hug.  Then she and Charlie packed up for the long journey back to the hotel.

She felt great and ready to go in the morning.  She wasn't sure she wanted to wear her jaunty flapper hat on the train after yesterday's experience, but it was better than risking losing it.  Back to the arena, double the snacks this time.  Charlie in charge of the costumes again.

OD warmup was disconcerting.  Charlie's timing problems were worse, and they didn't have music this time.  He couldn't find the rhythm and stumbling over his feet.  Meryl was worried before they even stepped onto the ice for their program.

 

**Charlie**

 

He just didn't feel right.  He couldn't explain it then or later, but something was off.  He firmly told himself to shake it off and fake it if he had to.  From the start, Meryl was right on the music, tight in the beat, and he was dragging behind.  Speed up, catch her! He flew into the twizzles, overcompensating in the most predictable way, and of course flew off the edge, almost knocking her down.  Hand down. Up in time for the second set.  Don't think about it, don't think about it, DON"T THINK ABOUT IT.  It's all I can think about. She was right-on in the choreography again, and he was behind.  Into the diagonal steps.  She wrapped her arm around him and said, _I have you,_ _it's okay_. And he finally felt his feet under him and could dance.  Then she let go and smack, he fell. Up and spin, and he almost let her go spinning into the ether.  Dropped her leg, and she forcibly placed it back in his hand.  _Come on_ , she said.  Side by side footwork, and down again.  For the first time, she started to lag just a bit.  He couldn't bear to look at her, but he could tell by her shoulders that she was devastated.  Still, she threw herself onto him for the lift, and he was rock steady for the first time.  They finished with the usual flair, even though he wanted to die. Skated towards the boards, toward Igor, wished he would be swallowed up before he got there.

She put her arm around him, and then let it drop.  She didn't say a word.

 

**Meryl**

 

Igor got her into a hug and practically carried her to the kiss and cry.  "Stay strong."

Charlie was devastated.  She couldn't process her own emotions yet.  She patted him. He ignored her.  She willed herself not to cry.  Igor said something to ease the tension.  Shut up, she thought.  The marks took a year to be posted.  42.  That was actually generous.  Their PCS was inflated.  Yay.  Into third, which meant fifth by the time the two Russian couples skated.  Their breezy journey to the Grand Prix Finals just got derailed. 

 

**Charlie**

 

He walked backstage and took off his skates.  Neither he nor Meryl looked at the protocol.  42 seemed high.  Igor tried to talk to them.  They both listened respectfully but said nothing.  Meryl went to the ladies' room.

 

**Meryl**

 

She wished she had a pillow to scream in to.

 

**Charlie**

 

Everyone wanted to commiserate or tell him it was going to be okay.  Meryl came out and sat in his general direction.  She didn't speak.  More commiseraters.  

"Do you want to find some place else to wait?" She saved him.  They found a secluded hallway.  They had five hours before they could take the train back to the hotel. She put a towel down on the floor and fell asleep.  He read her book and ate her snacks.

 

**Meryl**

 

She wasn't really asleep.  Well, she drifted in and out.  She was pretty livid with him, but she also felt terrible for him and would pounce on anyone who tried to tease him or take him to task.  She heard a rumor that the Eurosport commentators laughed throughout their program.  She wanted to find them.  But, yeah, she was not happy with him.  The dance wasn't that hard if you listened to the music and let it carry you.  They had skated it hundreds of times, and the number of times he was really engaged with her during it was very small.  It wasn't that he couldn't do it, or that he hated it, he was just psyched out by it, and instead of defeating it, he complained about how not fun training was now that the bros were gone.  Well, guess what, buddy, this has nothing to do with the bros.  This is you not being willing to figure it out.

 

**Charlie**

 

He was so glad there was sketchy cell phone coverage in the arena and was dreading his phone clicking on and being confronted with about 100 _sorry, bro_ texts.

 

**Meryl**

 

She sat up and looked in her bag.

"You ate _all_ the trail mix?"

"Sorry, I'll go find something for you."

"That's okay." She punched him in the arm. 

 

**Charlie**

 

It was the nicest punch he ever felt.

 

**Meryl**

 

"Come on, Samson, we're going to miss the train." That wasn't possible; they were an hour early at the stop, but at least it was something she could say. He smiled, just a little.

 

**Charlie**

 

He leaned against her the whole way back to the hotel and pretended to sleep.

 

**Meryl**

She nudged him when they were close to their stop.

"Let's watch TV and order room service in my room.  I texted Jacqui and Cheryl on the train and told them we were fine but didn't want to go out tonight. They said okay."

Russian TV was weird and the food was...interesting, but both of them laughed a little.  They finally fell asleep for real in separate beds, of course.

 

**Charlie**

 

He woke up and heard Meryl and her mom in the bathroom.

"I mean, really, the pressure is off.  That's pretty much what Igor said."

"And Charlie had no explanation? Jacqui's going crazy."

"What explanation does she want? He's fine, it was just one of those nightmares you never expect to actually happen."

"I know."

The women emerged; Meryl with her hair in its curly Delilah ponytail and fancy headband.

"I'm just leaving, Charlie. Cheryl was heading towards the door. "Love you."

"Love you, too, Cheryl."

"So, I have a plan." Meryl sat down on the bed next to him.

 

**Meryl**

 

They practiced their free dance in sweats.  Marina would never approve, but Meryl felt strongly that they needed to get their bearings by feeling like they were back in training.  Everything was perfect in practice, but admittedly, Samson and Delilah was not their problem that season.  Charlie skated as well as he ever had.  Meryl felt less nervous than she had the previous two days. He was with her, she could tell.

They brought it for the performance.  The crowd was so sweet and encouraging.  They had the highest TES of any of the teams.  They won the bronze and could hardly believe it.  The mood in the kiss and cry was light.  Charlie made a joke.  A bit too soon, buddy, although she was glad he was back on the horse.  She was stone-faced for the marks, but hugged him backstage. 

"You have to be with me in the OD," she said in his chest.

"I'm trying, Meryl, you have to know I'm trying."

"I don't want you to try." She let him go and looked him in the eyes.  "I want you to decide you're going to dance this thing.  I'm not asking you to be perfect.  You know, you're not the Great Gatsby out there, you're Charlie, the life of the party, and it shouldn't be that hard."

 

**Charlie**

 

And that made sense.

 

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

December 2008

 

Twelve hours after their last finals, Meryl and Charlie were in their seats ready to take off for the Grand Prix Final in South Korea. They had been there eleven months before for the Four Continents Championship and were excited to return to great accommodations and enthusiastic crowds.  Not that the crowds had been bad in Moscow; actually they were wonderfully supportive after Meryl and Charlie's disaster, but Korea was an up and comer on the figure skating scene and the federation stopped at nothing to make the competition a first class experience.

The fact that they qualified at all after Cup of Russia was miraculous, and Meryl and Charlie were truly just excited to be on their way.  Their goal this time was simple:  don't finish last.  It was also the first time they would see Tanith and Ben since Champs Camp and they couldn't wait to get to Goyang.

The plane took off and Meryl reflexively grabbed Charlie's hand, and then laughed at herself.

"Really?  Is it still that scary?" He asked her.

"Yes, shut up.  It's the only part that freaks me out."

"Maybe on your five hundredth flight, you'll be able to take off with out panicking."

"Maybe.  We can't all be so brave."

"Well, that's true."

Meryl was so relieved to be done with finals.  For the last two weeks, all she had done was skate and study.  She moved out of the Tri-Delt house temporarily after Thanksgiving because she didn't want any distractions.  She had been over-prepared for all of her finals, but it beat the alternative.  She was hoping her Italian professor would post grades soon.  It was the only one she didn't have official word on her A.  She had to write an essay about family Christmas traditions in Italian.  She had invented a large, Italian family to write about because her own traditions were so middle American, they even sounded boring in Italian, which is a challenge.  Going to midnight Mass, preparing a seven course dinner with Mama and decorating  _la ceppo_ sounded much more exciting than their annual Christmas Eve of eating lasagna at her grandparents' house and getting to open one present, which always turned out to be jammies.  Not that she didn't love every minute of it.

This year her mother had given her another early present, her annual gift bag full of books.  She had little time to read since the summer, so she relished pulling them out of her carry-on and deciding which one to start.  She settled on _The Hour I First Believed_ by Wally Lamb because it looked epic, sad and substantial.  Extra points for having interwoven stories a hundred years apart.  

"That looks intimidating.  After finals, I think I'm sticking with _Diary of a Wimpy Kid_." Charlie commented on Meryl's reading material.

"I want to read that, too.  Here's the sequel."  She handed a book to Charlie.

"You are my favorite travel companion."

"I don't have a lot of competition there, but yes, I have snacks."  She handed him a bag.  "Thank Cheryl for both, actually."

"I always do."

Sixteen hours later with one layover, they were on the ground in South Korea.  Charlie was rooming with Ben and Jeremy Abbott, who was taking a later flight.  Meryl was with Tanith.  Soon the four were reunited.  Ben was already icing his back after the long flight.  Hugs all around; foot pats for Ben.

"What's up with this?" Charlie asked him.

"We probably should not say a word to the competition," Tanith teased him. "I saw Marina in the lobby and she gave me a death stare and turned in the other direction."

"Yeah, they have some feelings towards you two," Meryl said.

"You know, the opposite of love isn't..." Charlie added helpfully.

"Oh well," Ben said.  "I have a muscle strain.  We're hoping it all holds up tomorrow."  Meryl sat beside him and patted his leg and made sympathetic noises. 

"Sucks that Evan didn't qualify.  It's honestly a miracle that Charlie and I did," Meryl said to Tanith.

"Yeah, he's bummed. I'm a bit over it." Tanith said.

"Reeeaaalllly?" Charlie perked up.  Ever the gossip hound, Meryl thought.

"Trouble in paradise," Ben said with faux sadness. 

"Eh, I'm giving him through the holidays.  We'll see."

"What happened to you guys in Moscow," Ben returned to Meryl's previous comment.

"You guys?  Meryl was great." Charlie laughed.

"I'm glad you can laugh about it," Tanith said to Charlie.

"Well, yeah, what's the alternative? I have no idea what happened.  I was off the whole day."

"Meryl?" Ben turned to her.

"I have nothing to add."

"Your program is impossible, though." Tanith commiserated with Charlie.

Meryl rolled her eyes the tiniest bit.

"Are Tessa and Scott back?" Ben asked them.

"Last week," Charlie answered.  "They are looking very good.  They're doing a Pink Floyd free dance--the music is almost the same as Olivier and Isa's--but their lifts are ridiculous."

"Their OD is great, too.  They're behind, but they'll be contending." Meryl added.  

"Awesome!" Ben laughed.  "That's really great.  Good for them!" He said with more rueful laughter.

"I know.  She has really been a beast this week.  I'm impressed, but I'm always impressed by them." Meryl said.

"Would it kill them to just take a season off?" Tanith and Charlie were on the small sofa smashed together by necessity. She picked a piece of lent off of his knee.

Charlie laughed.  "Yeah, guys, rest up for next year."

"Tessa and Fedor?"  Tanith seemed to be trying to act disinterested by her question.  Yeah, right, thought Meryl.

"Still on.  He went to Toronto to see her several times while she was rehabbing." Charlie answered.

"Good ol' Fedor.  I've missed him...not much at all." Ben laughed.

"He's in school now, business, I think." Meryl got up to leave.  "I'm going to order some food and go to bed early.  See you in the morning.  Tanith, do you want me to get you anything?"

"No, I'm good.  I'll be there later.  I'll be quiet."

"Don't worry, I'll be dead asleep, I'm sure."

 

Meryl had an amazing night's sleep.  She felt ready for the Original Dance in the early afternoon, but had a bobble on the first twizzle, and then Charlie messed up the second.  Of course, the one part of the dance that hadn't given them any trouble all season.  Marina and Igor were happy that they stayed on both feet, but their scores were low.  Tanith and Ben beat them by two points even with his shaky back, and they were in last place at the end of the segment.  One of the Russian teams, Jana and Sergei dropped out because he had food poisoning.  So they were technically in fifth, but yeah, last.

Meryl spent most of the time between the two phases of the competition in her room.  Tanith spent most of the time in the boys' room, Meryl guessed because of Ben's questionable status.  It was quiet and peaceful and exactly what Meryl needed. Cheryl came over and they watched a movie in between practice and the evening's free dance.  

Meryl and Charlie felt little pressure as the free dance warm-up ended.  Tanith and Ben had withdrawn in order not to risk further injuring his back in the four-minute program.  Meryl and Charlie weren't terribly hopeful of passing the Italians in third, so they just skated _Sampson and Delilah_ like they would in any practice.  There were no problems; the twizzles were smooth and fast. Meryl was relieved.  The crowd was amazing, which made them feel great skating over to Igor and Marina. 

Igor grabbed Charlie's hand in their claspy high-five thing thing they did.  Igor was one of the bros, after all.  "Solid!" He exclaimed, not in the 70s jive sort of way.  

Marina grabbed Meryl and said in her ear, "Beautiful, beautiful, but too...emmm...timid in the last part.  Attack, attack, you know.  You have to attack."

"Yes," Meryl breathed trying to get her skate guard on.  They watched the monitor for the replays.  The moment where Charlie leaned into Meryl on the side of his blade was nice.  

"Good in slo-mo," Marina said, "but rushed in time.  You need to stretch there." Decent scores.  Igor gave a Michigan shout-out and Meryl flashed a Delta to her sisters.

"I'm sure all of them watching the Korean feed at four in the morning during Christmas vacation are touched," Charlie teased her.  

"I'm sure they are."

The Italians had a high concept number in which they were sad, European clowns dancing to _Moonlight Sonata_.  Marina thought it was brilliant.  Igor was unimpressed technically.  Sure enough, Meryl and Charlie beat them by almost five points. Enough for the bronze, mostly because in this _Survivor_ -esque competition of withdrawals, they managed to stay on the island to the end.  They even hung on to the highest technical score of the night.  Igor was beaming and high-fiving anyone who would give him the time.  Marina was more reticent.

"Will have to be much better, much stronger.  Back to work."

But Meryl and Charlie enjoyed getting their first medal at their first Grand Prix Finals next to Olivier and Isa--exquisite in every way and Meryl's idols-- at the top of the podium.  She sang quietly along to _La Marseillaise_ without moving her lips, cracking Charlie up.  You can take the girl out of French club, but...

"Have you had the chance to wish Federica and Massimo Merry Christmas in Italian? He whispered to her.

"Give me time." She whispered back.

They enjoyed the rest of their stay in South Korea, performing in the gala and not thinking too much about how much Marina expected from them when they got back to Michigan.

 


	9. Chapter 9

January 2009

Cleveland

 

Meryl and Charlie were in Meryl's room the night after the original dance at Nationals.  They both should have been sleeping, but they were keyed up from that day's competition. Meryl, already in her pajamas, had been trying to get through an article about income disparity in pre-erruption Pompeii before Charlie knocked on the door and saved her.

"I meant to mention this at dinner," Meryl said to Charlie, who was sprawled across the other bed throwing and catching a pair of her socks repeatedly.  "Could we talk to the moms about sharing less awkward pictures?  Braces, bad hair and munchkin legs, oh my."

"I hear you, but I don't think a non-awkward picture exists of me from the ages of eight to fifteen.  The era of the double chin went on a long time."

"You did not have a double chin."

"Meryl." He looked at her like _child, please_.  "We were in braces for _years_.  Were our teeth really that bad?"

"Yes." She laughed.  "It's just weird seeing how we looked. I remember when Marina made you grow and highlight your hair, it took me six months to recognize you sometimes, but then I look at old pictures of us and it's like, who are those people?"

"Did you talk to Marina after dinner?" Charlie asked her.

"No. I figure if she really wants to talk to me, she can call.  I'm too tired.  I'm glad she liked the OD, though.  I thought it was the best it's been for sure."

"But still not good enough," Charlie laughed. 

"No, not good enough.  What drives me crazy this season is--and I shouldn't say this, you should probably put those socks in my mouth right now--we smash the free dance every time. The judges obviously love it; we made up all those points at the Grand Prix Final.  But we're mired in third because of the OD.  Maybe we'll look back on this season and be like, oh we learned so much from that Charleston, thank goodness we had that Charleston, but it's frickin...frustrating!"

"You know we're ahead by ten points right now, right?"

"Yes, but..."  She didn't need to say it.  Charlie knew exactly what she meant.  If Tanith and Ben were here, they would probably be in second.  When they got home from the GPF in South Korea, they had worked the full two weeks until Christmas, taken three days off, and then had worked up until it was time to drive to Cleveland.  Their classes had started this week, and neither had stepped foot in a classroom yet, although Meryl had dutifully checked in with each professor and had all of her reading for the semester laid out on her phone.  Charlie was going to get on that...sometime soon.

Igor and Marina had a fire in them like Meryl and Charlie had never seen. They were determined to beat Tanith and Ben at Nationals.  Every day they talked about it.

"Don't ever cross them," Charlie remarked, and it was true.  They were like spurned lovers out to prove that the ones who abandoned them had made a fatal mistake.  When the news came through the first week in January that Ben's injury was worse than they had known in Korea, and that Belbin and Agosto were out for Nationals, it was like someone had deflated a giant balloon in Canton. 

"Well, we still want to win," Igor had stated, but the showdown had been postponed.  Since Tanith and Ben were sure to get a bye to Worlds, it was almost certainly a very temporary postponement, but Igor and Marina lost a bit of spark.  They were also focused on getting Tessa and Scott ready for Canadian Nationals, which were a few days before Cleveland.  Tessa had to limit her training time, and wasn't able to do full run-throughs most of the time, but their elements looked better every day.  Still, Scott was extremely frustrated, and they needed a lot of attention.  

"Anyway, Meryl," Charlie sat up and looked at her.  "They work for us.  Next time if we don't like the direction a program is going, we need to speak up."

"Paul Davis, when did you come in?"

"There are a lot worse people you could compare me to than Paul," Charlie answered.

"Oh, no doubt." Meryl smiled.  "Anyway, if you remember, I loved the Charleston at first, I just thought we would get it to the point that we could really dance it by now instead of still running to catch it."

"That's really astute, Meryl. Well done."

"Why, thank you. And you're absolutely right, we have to be more proactive with them, especially going into," she whispered this part, "the Olympics."

"Voldemort." He whispered.

"Shut up," she whispered back.  "Yes, going into...that...we need two programs like the free, and we're going to stand up to them?"

"Hear us roar!" He threw the socks to her.  She caught them.

"Yay.  And surely we can think of something more interesting to talk about than stupid ol' ice dancing."  She threw the socks back. "Julia told me you haven't called her."

Charlie laughed.  "Let's talk about ice dance some more."

"Did you not like her?" Meryl stretched out on her side and faced him with her head on her pillow.

"I liked her; do I think there's a big romantic potential?  No.  What did she say?"

"She thinks you're really cute."

"Well, maybe I should call her." He laughed.  "What about you and what's his name?"

"Meh." Meryl laughed. "I don't see myself having the time, energy or emotion to devote to anything until after Voldemort, you know?"  She yawned hugely.

"You're finally sleepy."

"Yep, I think I'm going drift off," She gripped the pillow under her head and yawned again. 

"Well, see ya in the morning.  Breakfast?"

"Yep. Night, Charlie."

He walked over to her bed and put his arm around her and lowered his face to hers.  "Night, Meryl." He kissed her cheek, walked to the door and quietly left.

And then she was awake.  Because she'd had the urge to pull him down on the bed when he put his arm around her.  What in the name of all things holy, Davis? That did _not_ just happen.  Go to sleep. Go to sleep. GO TO SLEEP.

 


	10. Chapter 10

February 2009

 

Meryl, Charlie, Tessa and Marina were waiting to board a flight to Vancouver for the Four Continents Championships.  Scott was nowhere to be seen, and they were all texting him somewhat frantically.  Finally, Tessa got an answer.

"He was held up at security! He's on his way!" She sounded very relieved.

"Well, you know Scott and his..." Charlie started.

"Stop!" Meryl said.  "Seriously, no airport security jokes, your voice carries, and people don't always get the humor."

"Good point."

Scott ran in all energy and hair stuck up in the back. He threw his stuff down by Tessa and kissed her on the cheek.

"Sorry! Sorry.  Oh look!  It's the new U.S. champions, Meryl Davis and Charlie White!  Whadja do, Merlin, jump on Ben's back at the Grand Prix Final?"

"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!" Charlie laughed.  "Douchebag," he said under his breath as Scott started telling the story of his security line misadventures.

 

Later while they were waiting for take-off, thankfully several aisles away from their other travel companions, Charlie posed a question to Meryl.

"What would you wager for Scott and back-handed compliments this week?

"What do you mean?"

"I'm going to go with six," he said.

"Oh, I see.  I'll be wild and say eight.  Do we count the Merlin crack? She asked.

"Of course."

"Then I'm feeling good about this.  What are the terms?"

"Loser brings winner lunch for a week." Charlie suggested.

"Hmmmm, I don't know. When we get back, we're going to be in serious training mode for Worlds.  That seems like it will end up punishing Cheryl or Jacqui."

"That's a good point.  Loser buys winner a cocktail after Worlds?"

"I really hope we'll be thinking about other, happier things than Captain Amazing after Worlds."

"Yeah," Charlie conceded.

"How about this: loser buys winner the top pick on winner's Amazon wish list?"

"Oh, you are on!"  And they shook hands.

 

**Vancouver**

 

Meryl and Charlie didn't really know what to expect when they stepped on the ice for practice in the future Olympic stadium.  They had skated in Olympic venues before, but never one that they hoped would be theirs in a year.  Meryl decided she was naive in retrospect, because she really did think it was going to be grand and unequal in scope, but it was just a building.  That was a little disappointing and a lot comforting.

They were finally getting to dance the Finnstep and see how other teams were dealing with the challenging rhythm.  Meryl liked their chances.  Of course Tessa and Scott looked smooth, fast and perfect after very limited training time.  Meryl mimed popping a bottle of champagne before it was their turn.  Maxim and Oksana had actually poured themselves glasses and downed them before their Finnstep at Euros.  Then they fell, so Meryl limited her miming to practice only.  Meryl and Charlie flew around the ice and bounced on their toes during the stops.  It was a wonderful practice.  Scott skated up to them as they were cooling down after their session.

"You guys look great!  When did you start training that, April?"

"Ha, ha, ha!" Charlie laughed, impressively convincingly.

"Two," Meryl said quietly.

Their actual skate was...fine.  Meryl was already kicking herself before they left the ice.  It just didn't have the speed and sparkle that their practice did.  Marina looked annoyed as they exited.  Meryl was putting on her guards, and Marina said "Bad twizzles." to her.

"Yeah, I know.  No idea."

"Timing was off on the second pattern."

Meryl checked the monitor and Marina was right.  Their score was okay.  Later Tessa and Scott had an obvious bobble but still lead by just over a point, mostly PCS.

"I love this sport!" Charlie told Meryl.

"Me, too!  I love it; it's my favorite," she replied.

The next day they skated a better Charleston than they did all season.  They drifted about a time zone apart during the twizzles, but otherwise, it was so much better.  They tied Tessa and Scott on the technical score, but the Canadians still had a very small PCS advantage.  As annoying as it was to be behind them, especially since Tessa and Scott were clearly not at their best, Meryl and Charlie were in striking distance, and their free dance had been their weapon all season.  They sat with Tessa and Scott at dinner that evening.  Tessa was in obvious pain, and Meryl was concerned for her friend.

"So Chuckie, Tessa and I had a bet on the OD today," Scott said.

"Oh, really..." Charlie laughed.

"God, Scott, shut up," Tessa said.

"Oh, come on.  Tessa had you at two falls..."

"I did not!" Tessa jumped in.

"But I knew you would go clean."

"Tessa!" Charlie teased her.

"Scott, I swear to god." Tessa rolled her eyes.

"All of these desserts look amazing.  I might just have to order _three_." Meryl said.  Charlie laughed.

 

 **Meryl** :  He is insufferable.

 **Charlie** :  Ha Ha!

 **Meryl** :  They're going to win.  I'm going to accidentally kick him.

 **Charlie** :  If they win, he's going to be even more insufferable.

 **Meryl** :  I know.  I don't see how Tessa is going to get through it, though.

 **Charlie** :  She's a warrior, she'll do it.

 **Meryl** :  She will. Night.

 **Charlie** : Night.

 

Scott wracked up number four at free dance practice:  "Must be nice to have so much mileage on your programs!"  Yeah, it's great.  And by mileage I'm sure you mean the hours and hours that we've put in at the rink. 

Meryl and Charlie didn't watch Tessa and Scott's free dance, but their score was high, higher than Meryl and Charlie's international season's best by a couple of points. They had no idea whether or not they had a shot, so they just went out and laid it down.  Marina was really subdued in the kiss and cry because Tessa was in serious pain.  The scores came up, and they were just high enough to win.  Meryl and Charlie were thrilled, but kept their reaction very, very subdued.  Here they were in Canada beating the sweethearts, the sweeter of which was seriously not okay.  They gathered up their things and headed backstage.  Charlie put his arms around Meryl, and they hugged tightly.

"Congratulations," he whispered.

"You, too."

Tessa was no where to be seen, and Marina went off to find her.  Scott hugged Meryl and bro shook Charlie's hand.  "Congratulations, you two.  Awesome job."

"Thanks," Meryl said sweetly, her voice full of genuine concern.

"Ours was rouuuugh.  Geez.  But what did yours look like after only six run throughs?"

"Not good," said Meryl.

"Not good at all!" said Charlie.  "In fact, I remember it was really awful at _five_ run throughs."

"Yeah, after five it was really bad." Meryl was trying her best not to laugh.  Brick walls, sick turtles, gross spiders, math homework, World War I.

"You know, that judges' feedback back is invaluable.  We just, I mean there was really no way for us to win here."

"Right?  The feedback...it almost gives you a sixth sense." Charlie said earnestly.  Meryl started coughing fitfully.  "Meryl, are you okay?"

"Fine," she choked out.

 

Tessa rallied for the awards and congratulated them graciously.  It was the first time Meryl and Charlie heard their anthem, played for them, with Tessa and Scott on the podium, since their days in novice.  Evan Bates and his partner Emily Samuelson were thrilled with the bronze. 

Afterwards as they skated around with the American flag draped around them, Scott skated up beside them.

"On to Worlds!  Lucky you with that hometown advantage!"  Yes, he said it.  In Vancouver.  Badass Meryl, take this one.

"Oh my god, Scott, we can't wait.  It will be seventh heaven!"

 

A week later, _The Help_ showed up at the Tri Delt house addressed to Meryl Davis, and _Historic Photos of Michigan Football_ arrived at Charlie's house.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

Los Angeles

March 2009

 

.04  Point oh four. The crowd booed. A protest Facebook group was created. Igor was furious.

"It was a tactical loss, you'll see.  Politics.  But just watch." Meryl loved cryptic Igor.

And yet.

And yet, if they'd had clean twizzles in the OD, they would have won the bronze.  Meryl listened to the wuz robbed talk.  It was amusing.  Charlie talked about putting the article about them losing out by .04 on the bulletin board.  (Really?  Is this some super secret bulletin board that Tessa and Scott won't see every day?)

So amidst the boos (and the amazing standing ovation!) and the wuz robbing and the bulletin boards and the politics, Meryl knew they had to be better. 

Meryl hadn't had a chance to watch any of the competitors live, but she poured over the videos as soon as she got back to her room.  Tanith and Ben had been on fire.  They really deserved to win.  Two months after they arrived in Pennsylvania last year, their coach, Natalia Linichuk, had been informed by the Russian Federation that they were sending Russia's number one team, Oksana and Maxim to Linichuk.  It was not an option for her to decline unless she wanted to fall out of favor with her old federation.  Tanith and Ben found themselves in a similar situation that they had with Igor and Marina, except they got along better with Oksana and Maxim than they had with Tessa and Scott, and they had less history and hostility with their new coach than they did with Igor and Marina.  Linichuk had suggested Tanith gain some weight in order to be stronger in lifts.  Tanith had given an interview about it, in which she suggested that her former coaches wanted her as thin as possible.  Meryl didn't know what to think about that.  She had never been counseled about her weight.  It had never been brought up.  She was pretty sure if it ever was, her father would have her out of the rink before the end of the day.  Anyway, it had escalated the bad feelings between Tanith and Igor and Marina.

On the videos she watched, everyone else had little problems here and there. Other than giving Tanith and Ben the title, she couldn't really argue with the placements.

She watched all three of their programs in succession with her most critical eye.  The CD was fine, paso doble, Charlie looked amazing.  They were a little too far apart in the transition from the first to second pattern, but not bad overall.  Some of her leg and arm positions were unfinished.  

The OD was the problem.  Surprise!  Her blue dress was cute, but she was not sure it made sense with Charlie's purple vest.  She missed the hat.  New doesn't always mean better, Davis. Charlie had two noticeable bobbles, the more obvious one was on the second set of twizzles, but there was a little one on the steps as well.  She had remembered cringing during the steps, and there it was.  It wasn't a technical problem; he did them brilliantly in practice all the time.  It was nerves or confidence surrounding the program--that stupid program that they didn't ever have to do again.  She remembered how much she loved it when they started training it last year.  HA! laughed the skating gods. 

The free dance wasn't the best they had ever done it.  Again, she was distracted by her arms and legs in places.  There was a lot of ooooh, that's beautiful, quickly morphing into ooooooh, that's weird.  Charlie needed more stretch here and there.  She was again awed by the crowd.  She and Charlie were obviously buoyed by the reaction--the program got stronger and stronger.  From the twizzles on, it was definitely the best they had ever done.  That immediate standing ovation! It was even more powerful watching it back then it had been live with a million thoughts racing through her head.  She remembered just then that for a few moments, she had actually entertained the idea that they could have possibly won the whole thing. How ridiculous. Meryl Davis magical thinking at its finest.

She closed out YouTube.  Inspired by her analysis, she started a word document.

 

Battle Plan

1.  Remember how good Tanith and Ben are.

2.  Team Charlie

3\. Programs that win

4\. CDs every day, first and last trained

5\. Finish every movement

6.  Don't cede control (ultimately) to anyone but Charlie

 

She thought about making some brief notes beside each item, but they all made sense to her.  She didn't feel the need to over-complicate it. She saved it with the intention of adding to it throughout the next few months.  It was now after one in the morning.  She closed the computer, got out her book and read until the words started to blur.

She awoke the next morning at 10:45.  She immediately opened her computer and checked the list.  Team Charlie.  She was going to take a different approach with that, starting today.  She was going to inspire confidence in him, to make sure he knew she was his biggest supporter and that she believed in him.  She was going to be a calming influence.  She was the one who was often rather manic before they skated.  She vowed to settle down.  To breathe.  To smile.  To stop acting like a crazy person.  She decided to ask him to lunch.  Old Meryl would have texted him, so why not call.  The only time she ever called him was when she was driving and going to be late because of traffic or something.  Well, brand new Meryl, make a change.

He picked up on the third ring.

"Hey?" He sounded confused.

"Hey!  Did you sleep well?"

"Um, yeah?"

"Yeah, me, too! Hey, do you want to go to lunch? Then we can go back to the arena and watch the ladies' final." She sounded as enthusiastic as she could.

There was a pause.  "Sure..." He didn't sound all that sure.  "Tanith and I were going to grab a bite and then head back for the final.  You come, too."

"Great!  Is Ben coming?"

"No, he's with his family."

"Oh.  Well, should we ask Evan and Emily?"

"Yeah, that's a good idea.  I'll text Bates, will you take care of Emily? 

"Oh, sure!  Meet you in the lobby at noon?"

"Sure.  See you then."

Meryl hung up the phone and texted Emily Samuelson, who politely declined.  She was with family, too.  Meryl jumped in the shower and then did her hair and dressed in a cute outfit that coordinated with her Team USA jacket.  She made it down to the lobby, just in time.  Charlie was nowhere to be seen but Bates was there.

"Hey, Meryl! You guys were so great last night!  So robbed!"

"Thanks!  You and Emily were great, too!" Meryl hoped this was true.

The elevator dinged and Charlie and Tanith got out.  Meryl ran to Tanith. "Hey!  You and Ben were absolutely stunning! I watched all the tapes; you deserved to win."

"Aw, thanks, Meryl!"

"That's what I said, too," Charlie added.

The four walked a a few blocks to a diner that was packed.  They had to wait about twenty minutes for a table.

"So, congratulations to Evan for winning the men's gold! Is he over the moon?" Meryl asked Tanith.

Charlie and Tanith exchanged a look.  "I'm sure he is.  We broke up about a month ago. I thought you knew...sorry." Tanith said.

"No, _I'm_ sorry. I wouldn't have brought it up.  Yikes, sorry."

"Oh, it's fine.  It was a long time coming."  Meryl remembered Tanith saying something about that at the Grand Prix Final, but she had seen Tanith and Evan together at Nationals and had assumed that things were going okay.

She hastily changed the subject and they talked about their week so far.  Charlie and Bates were hilarious as always.  Lunch went by quickly and they started walking towards the arena.  Tanith got a text and went back to the hotel to meet Ben and their coaches for a quick team meeting. Meryl wanted to talk to Charlie about some of her thoughts about last night, but she decided to wait until they were alone.  They were all taking two weeks off, and then were going to have their first strategy meeting at the rink to go over the new programs for their most important season. Meryl was ridiculously excited.

 

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

April 2009

Canton, Michigan

 

Meryl was hanging out in the locker room when Tessa walked in.

"Hey, how did it go?"

"Good, I guess.  It's still kind of a blur.  Flamenco for the OD; Marina had some flamenco dolls that reminded her of me and Scott."

"Of course.  Did she actually have the dolls in the room?"

"Oh, yes, the girl has a very long, black skirt, so I guess I need to get on that.  Sloooooooow and romantic for the free.  Reminds me of _Valse Triste_."

"That sounds really good!"

"When do you go in?"

"About 45 minutes.  I'm so nervous.  I keep telling myself not to get emotionally invested, but I am so emotionally invested. It's disgusting," Meryl told her.

"How can you not be?"

"I don't know, but I had to remind Charlie that the program meeting was today, so he manages."

"Charlie has his own vibe, that's for sure.  But he's obviously invested."

"I know.  I'm just trying to work on being such a wreck."

"Meryl, how to say this...you wouldn't be you if you weren't kind of a wreck.  I mean, your intensity works."

"I think I know what you mean.  But augh, it's painful.  My stomach has been in knots since yesterday afternoon."

"You could smack Scott around, you know that would make you feel better.  Or you could find someone to make out with," Tessa laughed.

"Easy for you to say with Fedor following you around."

"Eh, I think I'm over that."

" _Really_?"

"Yeah.  He's being very annoying and clingy."

"Everyone's breaking up.  I guess you heard about Evan and Tanith."

Tessa gave her a weird look.  "Yeah, Meryl.  That was a while ago."

"I am really behind on my skating gossip.  I'm all over Tri-Delt gossip, though!" Meryl laughed.  "Tell Scott things are looking up for him on that front."

"Oh god, that's all I need.  Well, good luck at your meeting."  Tessa hugged her.

 

Meryl and Charlie walked in the conference room to see Igor and Marina smiling up at them from the head of the table.  Marina had a beautiful scarf in front of her.  Meryl and Charlie took a seat.

"Don't be nervous!" Igor told Meryl.  "It's all really great!"

"We go completely new for original dance," Marina said.  "Indian folk dance.  Here is some music I'm thinking about, and I'm still looking for some more." She clicked on a file, and the Indian music started playing. It was upbeat and very Bollywoodesque. 

"So, am I dying my hair?" Charlie asked.

"Oh no, you are an English prince!"

"Oh great, a pro-colonialism program.  That's going to be a huge hit in Ann Arbor." Meryl said, but she was intrigued with the music and the scarf.

"This is the inspiration for you dress." Marina held out the scarf to Meryl.  It was exquisite.

"Can we work with real dancers, like authentic Indian dancers?" Meryl asked her.

"Oh, yes, of course! It will be as authentic as possible," Marina said.

"We understand that this could be a risky.  A fine line between taking a chance on a concept not done before and..." Igor searched for a word.

"Potentially offensive," Charlie offered, laughing.

"No, it won't be offensive." Igor assured them.

Meryl remembered a Bollywood dance on _So You Think You Can Dance_ last summer that was breathtaking and amazing.  "I think it has potential," she said, but her smile was broadening.

"Okay and then for the free..." Marina paused to click on another file.  Familiar music filled the room. Duuuuuuun duh duh duh duh duuuuuuuuuuuh.....

Meryl was incredulous.  _Phantom of the Opera_? Phantom of the goddamn motherfucking punkassbitch Opera?

"I love it!" Charlie exclaimed.  Meryl gave him a look that could have legitimately killed plants. Igor and Marina must have missed it because they were giving each other pleased looks.  Meryl breathed in and out and and tried to keep calm.

 "We thought we would take a classic approach in the free dance to contrast something so different for the original," Igor said.

Classic.  Is Andrew Lloyd Weber considered classic?  Meryl tried to count all the boring, poorly constructed, unconvincing programs she had seen throughout the years to _Phantom of the Opera_.  People called it POTO.  POTO!  POTO was going to be the follow-up to _Eleanor_ and to _Samson and Delilah_.

"Don't you think," Meryl said quietly, "that _Phantom_ is a bit...overused?"

"I think it's perfect for you.  Big, bold, Dramatic.  All your strengths," Marina said.

"Meryl," Igor said, "You won't believe how technically difficult this program is going to be. You will love it, if you give it a chance."

"There will be an important moment for every part of the music!" Marina added.

"Okay, here's the thing...I feel like we are...we have been known for interesting choices.  This is not an interesting choice." It was as bold as Meryl was capable of being at the moment.

"We gave you that kind of program, Meryl, last season, and it wasn't enough!" Igor had a kind but firm tone. "It's not enough to have an interesting concept.  You are powerful and dramatic.  That's what we hear over and over. Powerful and dramatic.  So we're giving you something very powerful and very dramatic.  And there is a story for you to tell, just like Samson and Eleanor!"

"Yes, dramatic. Charlie with his hair and that mask!" Marina was looking at Charlie and missed Meryl's eye-roll, which she quickly checked.  She was not fifteen. Meryl thought about her earlier conversation with Tessa--slooooooow and romantic.  Well, aren't we dancing in our neat little boxes, she thought.  _Here's our dramatic team, and here's our romantic team!_    She quietly stared at the table. 

"Well," Igor said, as if it had been decided. "We'll leave you to talk it over.  You know where we are if you need us."  Marina took her scarf and both coaches left the room.

"So you really don't like it?" Charlie asked her.

"Charlie, I'm just...I don't know what to think.  It's not what I was expecting.  I talked to Tessa, and they have something like _Valse Triste_."

"Well, I wouldn't want that!"

"Neither would I, but at least it would be something different."

"Different for us, but not different for them.  It's sounds like typical Virtue and Moir program version four.  Last year is the only time they've had something different.  We've had different stuff every year."

"And Igor and all the technical talk--what did he say to them this morning--you know he's going to push them technically, too."

"Of course he is; you're losing me, Meryl."

"It's like if, you know the...Red Wings were coached by...the same guy who coached...what's the Chicago team?"

"The Blackhawks."

"Yeah, the Blackhawks.  That wouldn't work."

"Thank you for the ham-fisted hockey analogy because I never would have been able to understand your point without it." Charlie sounded genuinely annoyed with her.  "This has never been an issue, so why do you think it will be now?"

"Charlie.  I just wanted something special and extraordinary for this season.  I'm just disappointed."

"Who is to say this won't be extraordinary?  I think it's going to be awesome with the mask and..."

"That's another thing!  You are not the Phantom, oh my god.  You're Raoul.  Netflix the movie.  You're Patrick Wilson, you're not Gerard Butler, I mean, come on!"

"Fine, whatever.  Marina thought I was the Phantom."

"Well, you're not.  I can already see you in a flowy top."

"That's sounds horrible."

"RIGHT?!?"

"So what do you want to do?"

"Complain a whole lot!" She whined.

"Do you want to go to them as a team and tell them to try again?" Charlie looked at her.  "I have to be honest with you, Meryl, I don't see the problem.  People always do safe programs for the Olympics." He put his hand in the direction of the door, in the direction of Igor and Marina. "They're excited about it.  I think we should at least give it a chance."

"I trust you. I trust them.  I'm out-numbered.  I'm ceding control."  She sighed. She wanted to hug him, but he got up and walked toward the door.

"Tell you what, let's give it a week, and if you still hate it, we'll go to them as a united front, okay?"

"Okay."

"And don't let Scott have any clue that you're not 100% behind this.  He will get in your head, you know it."

"I do."

"Come on, Meryl, let's get to work."

"Okay, Charlie."

They headed out to lace up their skates.


	13. Chapter 13

June 2009

 

Meryl was early for lunch, or more accurately, she was on time and Charlie was ten minutes late.  Charlie and Tanith were late.  She was leaving for vacation on Monday, and Charlie mentioned that Tanith was coming in town and wanted to get together before Meryl left.  So there she was waiting at the table, drinking mediocre iced tea and waiting for Charlie and Tanith. She looked at the menu for this chain restaurant that she didn't pick.  It didn't really matter what she ordered, everything was equally uninteresting and pretty much tasted the same.  Grilled chicken salad number 86,000 coming up. She saw his SUV pull into the restaurant parking lot.  Tanith was with him, which solved the mystery of why neither had yet arrived.  He parked and they both got out.  Tanith looked as beautiful as ever as the sun caught her hair.  She said something, and he turned his whole body to her and laughed.  Meryl couldn't hear anything, but she knew that laugh as well as she knew anything.  It was his eyes, though, that gave up the game.  Oh.  Wow.

How stupid she was.  How mind-blowingly stupid.  Of course. Of course.  It was all so perfectly obvious.  She had a million thoughts at once, but she focused on one, one memory.  That day at Worlds, the day after the free dance when she had unwittingly crashed their lunch date and how Bates was recruited so as to avoid her being the third wheel.  How ridiculous she was that day, hoping to get a chance to talk to Charlie alone, her battle plan and how she was going to lead her team to victory.  Their team.

She hadn't had a meaningful conversation with him in weeks.  She had attributed it to their disagreement over the music, nervousness about the upcoming season and finals, which she had poured all of her _Phantom of the Opera_ frustrations in and absolutely smashed. They had been training the programs hard. She was still resentful about _Phantom_ , but she was on board, doing her part.  But now she saw the story as it really was.  Charlie, constantly on his phone when he wasn't on the ice.  No non-skating related physical contact between the two of them.  Texts only about the schedule.

The couple entered the restaurant and spoke briefly to the hostess and looked around the room. Meryl knew this was the part where she smiled and raised her hand.  She plastered on the smile and put her hand in the air.  She desperately pleaded to any being listening for her to miraculously disappear. But Tanith spotted her, and they walked over.  Meryl rose to hug Tanith.  "Hi!" "Oh, hi!" She sat again before Charlie would have to decide whether or not to touch her.

They chatted. "How's Ben." "How's training?" "How are Tessa and Scott?" "How are Maxim and Oksana?" "How are your mom and dad?" "How are _your_ mom and dad?" The whole time, Meryl just wanted it to happen, and she knew exactly how it would.  Charlie would clear his throat and say, "Meryl, there's something we want to talk to you about." Then they would reassure her that it had nothing to do with their partnership. Nothing has changed! It will all just go on like it always has. Nothing to do with Davis and White and Belbin and Agosto.  Agosto.  Meryl really thought about that.  Ben's last name was August.  He should have a son named Augustine and call him Gus or Augie.  Gus Agosto.  Augie Agosto.  Both great names.

Charlie cleared his throat.

After the bad food and conversation that was almost to the word as Meryl predicted, they parted, Meryl kissing Tanith's cheek and avoiding touching Charlie entirely.  She walked to the ladies' to avoid leaving at the same time. She went into the stall and counted to fifty, white noise getting increasingly louder in her head.  She exited the stall, washed her hands and then left the restaurant.  She got into the car and pulled out her phone.

 **Meryl** : Drinks tonight?

 **Brooke** :  Yes!  Jose's?

 **Meryl** :  Pick you up at 8:00?

 **Brooke** :  Sounds great!

Meryl drove to her thankfully empty house, her parents gone to an event for the whole afternoon.  She lay on her bed and went through every piece of evidence from the last year that she had not noticed or outright ignored. Why did she even care?  She didn't have feelings for Charlie! She was not in love with Charlie.  Why did she care? Why did she feel engulfed in grief?  Grief, for god's sake.  How ridiculous.  How stupid.

She got up and packed for the trip to the lake she was taking with about ten of her Tri-Delts.  That took about ten minutes.  She got back in the car and drove to Target and then to the grocery store to pick up some essentials for the trip.  She still had two hours before it was time to meet Brooke.  She took a superfluous shower and redid her hair and make-up and watched _16 and Pregnant_ until finally it was time to go.

Brooke took one look at her.

"What's wrong?"

"You are going to laugh."

"I won't."

"Charlie's in love with Tanith. They're a couple."

"What the fuck?"

"Right? Thank you!"

"What does that mean for you guys?"

"He says nothing."

"How is that possible; they're your rivals!"

"I know! Thank you!"

They pulled up to the popular Mexican restaurant with bad food but amazing margaritas.  They ordered one for each of them and told the waiter they were still deciding on food.

"Should we get a shot of tequila, too?" Meryl pondered.

"No, I think the margs will be sufficient.  It's still pretty early," Brooke laughed.

"You're right.  Pace is important."

Meryl drank hers quickly and ordered another.  Brooke texted her boyfriend that they would need a ride home in about an hour.

"Thank him for letting you come out tonight." Tipsy Meryl told her.

"Letting me?" Brooke laughed.

"Well, you know.  Not letttttting..."

"Oh, yeah.  It's inter-mural hockey night.  You got me out of that."

Meryl was about three-fourths of the way through with the second drink.  "Charlie is delusional if he thinks this won't change anything. Of course it will, it already has."

"What?"

"We don't talk, he hardly looks at me.  We were best friends.  Well, you know, you're my best friend," Meryl put her arm around Brooke, "But Charlie and I were getting really close.  I actually started thinking about..."

"About what, oh my God, Meryl, please don't tell me you have feelings for him."

"Not feeeeeeeeeeelings.  But you know, for the first time, I was thinking that it might not be the worst thing ever."

"Meryl, seriously? Why didn't you tell me. I don't think you really did.  You're just in shock because of this news."

"Brooke, I know what I felt.  But it's useless now.  She is something!  What would it be like to have anyone you want?"

"Come on, Mer. It's probably just a fling anyway.  She's in Pennsylvania."

"Thank gawd.  Can you imagine having to see them together every day?  Igor is going to be pissssssssssed.  Marina! Look what your golden boy went and did!"

"Oh, Meryl."

Meryl got out her phone and pulled up Charlie.

 **Meryl**   Fuck you, Charlie! 

Brooke took the phone away.  "Yeah, we're not sending that."

"Probably smart.  But it felt good typing it. I'm going to order one more."

"You think?"

"Yes!"  She could only drink about half of it before she was functionally incoherent.  Brooke's boyfriend showed up and drove them back to Brooke and his apartment.  Brooke texted Cheryl and told her Meryl was staying over.  Meryl spent most of the night in the bathroom throwing up margaritas and admiring how wonderful and cold the bathroom tile was.  She didn't cry, for the record.  She finally went to sleep and woke up feeling awful at 8:30.  Brooke drove her to Jose's to retrieve her car, and she drove home and walked into her house with a hat and sunglasses on.

"Did you have fun?" Cheryl asked.

"Yeah." She was headed to her room.

"Meryl, you look awful." Her father told her.

"Thanks, Dad."

"Are you ready to go tomorrow?" Cheryl was following her into her room.

"Yep." Meryl collapsed on the bed.  Cheryl sat down, too.  "Momma."

"Yes?"

"Did you know about Charlie and Tanith?"

"What are you talking about?"

"It's not that big of a deal.  Nothing to do with skating, don't worry.  They're dating."

"No, I didn't know."

"They probably told Jacqui and Big Charlie yesterday, too."

"Oh.  Yeah, Charlie doesn't really confide in Jacqui."

"No.  He doesn't really confide in anyone, apparently.  Well, not me anyway."

Cheryl rubbed Meryl's back and didn't say anything, which was the best thing she could have done.

 

Meryl slept a whole lot at the lake.  She put on a face and joined the group when she had to, but she slept a lot. 

"You must be exhausted," her closest sister, Sarah, told her on the third day when Meryl was napping at two in the afternoon.

"Yeah."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm good.  Everything is good."

"Everything _is_ good, Meryl."

"What do you mean?"

"You're, what, the fourth best in the world at something.  You're going to the Olympics..."

"Maybe! Maybe going."

"Sorry, you _may_ be going to the Olympics.  You have perfect grades.  You're a skinny little bitch.  I want your life."

"I want _your_ life.  You have Josh calling you constantly; you're going to graduate soon."

"You can have Josh," Sarah laughed.

"I want someone who has to call me even on vacation.  Argh.  Don't listen to me.  It's pathetic.  I just need to get over it, okay?"

"Okay, sleep all you want. We miss your face, though, Davis."

"Thank you, I'll come out in a minute."

Meryl turned around and grabbed the blanket back around her.  She wished she had brought her laptop, but she pulled out her phone to add a note.

 _Beat them_ , she wrote.


	14. Chapter 14

July 2009

 

Charlie fucked up his twizzle.  Just a momentary concentration lapse.  They were training the original dance, and there was some intricate choreography going on with those twizzles, unlike what they had done in the past.  They were going over elements without the music, and Meryl just looked at him and skated off.

Enough.  Enough of her.

Charlie skated to the boards and told Marina, "I'm done for today."  He stepped off the ice and shoved his guards on.  Meryl wasn't even looking his direction.

"You are not done!  What are you, giving up?"

"I'm just over it for today."

"No! You not.  Meryl!" She shouted across the ice.  Meryl started skating toward them. "What did you say?"

"Nothing," Meryl answered, totally expressionless.

"What's wrong with you?" Marina was addressing both of them.

"Nothing," Meryl said again.

Liar, Charlie thought.  "I don't know," he said.

Marina looked at them.  "You don't care? You not going to win?"

Meryl just looked at her and said nothing.  Charlie couldn't read anything in Meryl's eyes except she obviously wasn't happy.

"Two weeks to Champs Camp. You ready?"  Marina asked them.  It was obviously rhetorical. "Do you need counseling? We can do that."

Charlie couldn't imagine anything more ludicrous than being in counseling with Meryl.

"You can't work if you can't even talk to each other.  I want you to go into the conference room and try to talk. You're done for today. Come back tomorrow and we'll work or we won't.  I can't decide for you." Marina flounced off.

Meryl put on her skate guards without a word and took off for the locker room.

"What are you doing?" Charlie was incredulous.

"Going to the bathroom.  Is that okay?"  She looked at him blankly.  "I'll meet you in the conference room in five minutes if you want to.  Otherwise, I'll see you tomorrow." She turned her back and continued into the locker room.

She had been this way since they got back from vacation.  The training was going okay, but they had hardly said a word to each other off the ice.  It reminded him of when they were nine and ten and too awkward to talk, except with bonus hostility.  He didn't know if it was still the music, or Tanith or both.  He grabbed his water bottle and headed into the conference room.  She joined him, blank-eyed, a few minutes later.

"Hey," he said.  He wanted to start by saying _what's your problem_ , but he knew that wouldn't be productive.

"Hey," she said, and for the first time he could see that she was really sad. 

"What's wrong?"

She sighed and looked at him. _Where to start?_ was written all over her face.

"Is it the music, is it Phantom?" He thought he would try to stick with the safer of the two subjects.

"No.  That's fine.  I'm at acceptance with that." She had a tiny smile at her stages of grief joke.

"Then what?"

"I just feel so stupid."

"What are you talking about?"

She sighed again and looked at him.  She was really hesitant to speak, which made _him_ sad.  His annoyance with her went away at that moment.

"Meryl, talk to me."

"Okay." She looked at him again, and he tried to convey with his eyes that it was safe to talk. "Maybe it was just me, but...I feel like we were at such a good place.  Like we were so close and really on the same page.  Last season was kind of ridiculous, right?"

He nodded.

"The Charleston and you know, results all over the place and training so hard to be US number one, and then that not really happening; it was just a really weird year, but..." She looked to be regrouping again. "But, I just felt like we were...bonding and getting so much stronger.  And then, I felt like such an idiot because of the Tanith thing.  And then I felt like we weren't really close at all."

Charlie was baffled; what was she saying? Surely she wasn't in love with him.  "Meryl..."

"I mean why wouldn't you tell me?"

Oh, thank god.

"I felt like such an idiot.  You could have told me months ago that you had feelings for her.  Looking back it's so obvious. I would have been happy for you instead of just feeling out of the loop," Meryl said.

"What could I say, she had a boyfriend."

"And then she didn't, Charlie.  You could have told me at Worlds instead of trying to fix me up with Evan Bates on your date."

"I wasn't trying to fix you up," he laughed a little bit. There was a thaw; it was nice.

"Whatever. I look back on that weekend and feel so stupid.  I had all these skating plans for us, and you were just trying to get on with your romance."

"That's not true.  Good lord, Meryl, that's so unfair."

"Maybe so, but how would I know.  You knew it was not ideal with our competitive situation, and that's why you didn't tell me.  Be honest."

"Well, yeah, of course I knew!  I knew it would not be well received, by you, but especially by Igor and Marina."

"You could have confided in me."

"I couldn't.  I like her so much, Meryl, I've never felt this way.  I was afraid you would tell me a million reasons why it was wrong and why I shouldn't be with her.  And you would be right, to some extent.  But I couldn't help it."

"Not really a profile in courage."

"That's not nice."

"Well, I'm not always nice.  Listen, good for you for finding someone you want to be with. Do I think it's optimal? No! But it happened, and it would have helped me--I think it would have helped us, if you would have been forthright about it."

They were silent for a few moments.

"What does Ben think?" Meryl asked him.

"That it's a terrible idea," Charlie laughed.

"Good ol' Ben."

Both looked at each other and at the table and around the room.

"We want the same thing still, right?" Meryl asked him.

"Yes!  I want to beat them--Tanith and I do not talk about training; it's an unwritten rule, but I know she wants to win, and I want to win. I want _us_ to win."  He looked at her.  He still was an _us_ with her, he hoped.

"Okay.  Then we're good." She smiled. "And I'm sorry for being such a bitch; I'll try to be better."

"You haven't been a bitch." She kind of had.

"Come on.  There is still an hour left, let's Golden Waltz a few dozen times and show Marina we're a united front. Tessa and Scott are frothing at the mouth, I'm tired of giving them the satisfaction."

"United in our cause to thwart Canadian smugness!"

"Forever and always."

They took their water and left the room to tie on the skates and get back to work.


	15. Chapter 15

August 2009

 

**Meryl**

She was strapped in next to Brooke on her way home from Champs' Camp.  Brooke had changed her reservation to make sure they were on the same flight and in adjacent seats. Brooke's partner Ben was on their original flight which was leaving for Detroit in a few hours.  Charlie was several rows behind them sitting with Evan Bates.

She and Charlie had gotten their shit together quickly after Marina practically threw up her hands with the both of them.  The programs had been ready to be seen by the US officials.  Meryl even had some costume mock-ups to wear. 

She was still very much in what she referred to as a dark night of the soul. There was a near constant dull, thuddy ache in her chest.  It would go away if she was skating or if she was particularly busy otherwise.  Sometimes, it would go away for hours, and she would think _I've beaten it; it's done_. And then she would see something or hear something or think something and the ache would return. Depression sounded so clinical, and she would never admit it to anyone, let alone seek treatment.  She imagined what that would be like.

"What caused you to come here today, Ms. Davis?"

"My twenty-one year old skating partner who I never really considered romantically started dating a woman.  Oh, and I'm not digging our free dance music."

"Oh, that _is_ serious.  Over-privileged ice dancer in one of the poorest cities in the country has major problems.  How have you made it up until now?"

Of course not.  Instead she self-medicated with extra cardio and lots of French folk--and some French jazz on the weekends if she was feeling really morose.

She suspected that it had been in her all along just waiting for a triggering event to set it off.  That at least made more sense than being in pain over such ridiculous things.

The plane took off and she had her usual moment of panic.  She gripped her seat and tried to appear absolutely calm so Brooke wouldn't notice.  She didn't say anything or react in any way, so Meryl assumed she had pulled it off.

 

**Charlie**

The plane took off.  Did she inhale sharply and grab Brooke's arm?

 

**Meryl**

The programs had both been unqualified successes. The officials thought the Indian folk dance was brilliant.  She and Charlie had hit every element, which helped of course. They loved the character twizzles; they loved the expression from both Meryl and Charlie.  The pair had added two hours of Indian dance a week in early May.  Meryl hoped they would keep it up even after this showcase and approval because she loved the movement and how completely different it was from their other off-ice training.

POTO, though, was the triumph.  Igor wasn't kidding when he promised it would be the most difficult free dance.  It pushed both of them farther technically than they had ever gone.  One move was a dance-modified pair throw that Meryl landed with finesse.  All of the lifts were dramatically more difficult than ones they had performed in the past, but it one she flipped over his shoulder and landed with one blade on the back of his calf, extended parallel to the ice.

It was insanely challenging, and she was very proud of what they were able to show.  She just wished the theme of the program was different.  And she was the only one, although she suspected some of the hard core fans would be disappointed in their choice of music.  It was still under wraps, and she was fine with that. Marina and Charlie were gloating.  She was not conceding.

 

**Charlie**

 

Meryl was still being a pill about the music.  It was almost like she was determined to grab defeat from the jaws of victory.  She performed it perfectly, he of course had to give her that, but when the judges couldn't stop gushing she sat there with the tiniest sneer on her face.  She was perfectly gracious and said thank you and all, but he could tell she was almost disdainful of their praise.

"Well, I guess that settles it--they love it!" He was needling her.  He shouldn't but god, it was tiresome.

"And they didn't love Eleanor."

"What are you saying?" 

"I didn't trust their judgement then, and I don't trust it now."

Alrighty then.

He had Tanith had decided ahead of time that they wouldn't discuss their programs or the feedback they got.  That lasted until Tanith and Ben performed their programs and were faced with a room of concerned officials.  The judges thought their Moldavian folk dance was an odd choice, and they didn't love their religious themed free dance either.  Charlie reassured her that his programs with Meryl had been panned two seasons back, and they ended up being fine, but it didn't really compare to an Olympic year.  Tanith's coach discounted it and attributed it to the lack of taste of American officials.

"She should talk to Meryl," Charlie said.

 

**Meryl**

She got through her interactions with Tanith.

No, It's fine.  I'm really happy for you actually.  Oh, please, of course we're still friends.  Come watch a movie with Brooke and me.  Oh, sure. Rain check.  Any time.

 

**Charlie**

He saw Meryl talking with Jeremy Abbott and Ryan Bradley.  She smiled in a way he hadn't seen since Worlds in Los Angeles.  Tanith thought he was blowing the whole thing way, way out of proportion.

"She's fine.  Your programs are great...you should be thrilled."

 

**Meryl**

She got to know some people she hadn't really talked to much before.  It was different and not terrible being not just one half of Davis and White. 

She knew she was over-thinking the whole thing.  There was nothing she could do about any of it other than skate her best and be a good partner. She had sold the hell out of POTO at the test skate.  That was the way to go.  No one needed to know about the sometimes state of her soul.

 

**Charlie**

He felt really torn.

 

**Meryl**

She tried to put it behind her.

 

**Charlie**

In the end, he really just wanted to win.

 

**Meryl**

 

In the end, she really just wanted to win.


	16. Chapter 16

The Grand Prix Season

Fall 2009

 

Meryl's dark night of the soul finally passed in late August.  She primarily credited two factors:  getting flown to LA for Olympic media and becoming friends with Jeremy Abbott.

It was hard to stay depressed thinking about the almost certainty of being on the Olympic team. Of course they could get injured, or something truly horrific could happen, but with three available spots in ice dance, one of them was for Davis and White.  That's just the way it was.  Jeremy, who had moved from Colorado to Detroit to train under Yuka Sato, pounded it in to her head how lucky she was.  He was enormously talented but had terrible problems with nerves that could easily keep him from making the team.

"Tell me your problems again? Oh yeah, right, you have none."

While that was not true, as she felt under enormous pressure starting the season and a new semester at school, she got his point.

Charlie came back from LA with a new level of determination, and they were training better than they had since the time they had to reboot Eleanor in the middle of the season.  Both programs and the two compulsories were performance ready by the beginning of September.  She moved back into the Tri-Delt house, sharing a premium room with Sarah. Her high GPA and finally being an upperclassman garnered privileges.  She got her first pick, a corner room with lots of windows and right by the staircase that led to the parking lot.  She would be out of there by 5:30 most mornings.

Igor and Marina had urged them to compete before the Grand Prix season started to get the programs in front of judges early.  They had registered for the Nebelhorn Senior B in Germany.  Tessa was having on-going issues with her legs and pain, and they weren't able to train as many consecutive hours as Meryl and Charlie.  Their programs weren't at the same level yet.  That hadn't stopped Scott from giving an interview in which he declared Virtue and Moir to be the best ice dancers in the world.  He had Meryl and Charlie in second.

"He meant it as a sincere compliment to us," Charlie laughed.

"Oh, I know; it's high praise from him, actually."  Meryl had printed the article off the internet and secretly posted it on the board in the conference room.  Most people thought Scott had done it although he vociferously denied it.  Marina and Igor rolled their eyes and gave him a lecture on how to conduct oneself in interviews.

They skated well in Germany and were rewarded with scores that were practically the same as the ones they had earned at Worlds the season before. It was an unqualified fabulous start.

The two D/S teams, Russian Maxim and Oksana and French Olivier and Isa were out of the Grand Prix although both planned to come back for the Olympics.  Maxim had knee problems, and Isa was having a baby in October.  This bumped Meryl and Charlie into the top three ranked teams.  Each of the top teams had two Grand Prix assignments each, almost surely all qualifying for the final where they would meet for the first time.  This made the season like a three-handed chess match with lots of uncontrollable variables like judging panels and injuries.  Because they were higher ranked than Meryl and Charlie, Tanith and Ben and Tessa and Scott each got to skate at their home event plus one more.  Meryl and Charlie were headed to Russia and Japan.  They could have been really screwed over by having to skate at back to back events, but that hadn't happened.

**Round One**

Virtue and Moir, Trophee Eric Bompard  197.71

Davis and White, Rostelecom Cup  201.10

Belbin and Agosto, Cup of China  194.51

 

Neither Meryl nor Charlie were gun shy about going back to Moscow for the Rostelecom Cup. Both were happy about excising last year's experience. They would have met Maxim and Oksana here, and their withdrawal left a weaker field than any of the other events.  It was the perfect way to start their Grand Prix.

They scored well on the Tango Romantica compulsory, and were five points ahead going into the next round.  Meryl loved the original dance, it was challenging and unique, but it didn't give them the same trouble that the Charleston had.  The costumes were exquisite, it was probably her favorite all time dress, and Charlie looked like the most handsome groom at the most tasteful Indian wedding.  They extended their lead to fifteen points.

Meryl had made peace with POTO.  It would never be her most cherished program, but she was becoming very proud of it.  Marina and Igor had choreographed it perfectly.  Their highlight lift where she blindly landed one foot and no hands on Charlie's leg was placed right on the most exciting part of the music--and that this music, as problematic as Meryl found it, had very discernible highs and lows made it a stark contrast to Tessa and Scott's Mahler music, which was beautiful but rather one-note.  And she loved her dress.  It was shorter than the Delilah dress from last year which gave it a more athletic look, and it was cut slightly longer in the back so that Meryl appeared to have a flame trailing behind her. It was perfect, and Charlie liked his simple black pants/cream top combo.  Tessa was wearing long skirts for everything this season, and Meryl was very happy to avoid constant tripping over skirts which had already caused outbursts from Scott and tears from Tessa.  

They scored eighteen points higher than their closest competition in the free dance, and won the Grand Prix event by thirty-three points.  The other two top teams won their events, too, but Meryl and Charlie went into round two with a three and a half point advantage over Tessa and Scott, who had earned two one point lift length deductions, and a six and a half points up on Tanith and Ben, who had received glaringly lower scores on their free dance.

Igor and Marina had cooled it on the Tanith and Ben trash-talking out of respect for Charlie, but they all knew that the news was really god for Davis and White; they were exactly where they wanted to be.

 

**Round Two**

Davis and White, NHK 201.97

Belbin and Agosto, Skate America  195.85

Virtue and Moir, Skate Canada 204.38

 

NHK was in Nagano, and Jeremy was competing there, too.  He and Meryl made flight reservations together although she warned him that she had to do schoolwork the whole time.  She was writing a term paper, in Italian, about Renaissance literature.  She had done most of her research and written a rough draft in English, but she had her laptop out on the plane, translating it all into Italian.  Jeremy kept trying to read it over her shoulder in a bad accent.  She finally gave in and put it aside.

"You know what your problem is?" Jeremy started in.

"Oh, please tell me!"

"You need to relax, take a day off, enjoy yourself."

"I am enjoying myself.  Italian is my favorite."

"Have a favorite that isn't quite so sad."

"I don't have time for those favorites right now." She laughed.

"You need to get laid," he suggested.

" _You_ need to get laid," she retorted.

"That is so true," he said sadly, "But I have no prospects while you train with," he sighed, "Fedor every day."

"One, Fedor isn't over Tessa and two, he hardly knows I'm alive.  Also I suspect you might have a better chance with him."

" _What_?" 

"I think he might be hovering around a five on the Kinsey scale."

"Meryl Davis, that might be the best news I've heard in weeks. I could kiss you."

"That might be _my_ most exciting thing," she teased him, bopped him on the nose with her pen and got back to work.

She and Charlie again won decisively. Jeremy started strong, but fell had a disappointing free skate that landed him in fifth overall. He won Skate Canada, though, which meant he qualified for the Grand Prix final in Tokyo in a month.

Tanith and Ben had again earned lower free dance scores at their second Grand Prix.  Meryl didn't have a lot of contact with Tanith, but she knew that Tanith was upset about it.  It was not how they wanted their home Grand Prix event to go. 

Tessa and Scott, however, blew the field away at Skate Canada.  Both Igor and Marina were there, and Igor was full of hard truth for Meryl and Charlie when he got back.

"Did you watch their OD?" He asked them when the three of them were alone in the Arctic Edge conference room.

Meryl had and Charlie hadn't.  Tessa had made three visible errors, and they had still come out ahead of the Nathalie and Fabian, who other than a slight bobble on the twizzles had skated clean.

"The judges are sending a message that they can win with errors.  You need to understand that if you go into Tokyo, skate like you have been and not win.  It doesn't mean anything about you.  We don't think you could do anything else," Igor smiled at them. Meryl adored him.  They'd had lots of conversations about the nuances of skating politics this season. Meryl finally felt like she was sitting at the adults' table.

 

**The Final**

A week before the Grand Prix Final, Tanith and Ben announced they would be withdrawing because Tanith needed her wisdom teeth removed.  It was a testament to the love and respect that the entire Arctic Edge community had for Charlie that no one said one word about conveniently timed dental work.  Charlie made plane reservations for himself and Meryl and this time, had them sitting together.

"I hope Jeremy won't be too sad," he told Meryl.

It ended up being a good thing because the GPF was slightly earlier this year and Meryl and Charlie had to take their finals when they returned rather than before.  Meryl planned to study during both flights, and Charlie was much less likely to chatter.  It was comforting to spend some time with him anyway--even if they didn't really talk. They had eked out a points advantage over Tessa and Scott, which meant that would skate their OD last, but neither really expected to win.  Igor usually knew what he was talking about.  Still, they were clearly considered in the top two, and even taking into account the absence of the two D/Ss, Meryl and Charlie were gunning for an Olympic medal.

With the Japanese crowd firmly behind them, they won the OD by more than a point.  Tessa and Scott earned a season's best for their free dance, and Meryl realized she and Charlie would need one as well to win.  She tried not to think about it and just to skate in front of this incredible crowd. By the end, she felt good about it, but she had no idea. The crowd was on their feet as she and Charlie bowed.  He pulled her in to a side hug as they skated to the boards.

"What do you think we need?" She asked him.

"We need 102.43." He told her.

"Well, look at you, Igor, Jr."

They got 103.64, which was enough to win but second in the free dance.  That pissed them off a bit.  

"Second, but first." Marina told them.  She wasn't over the moon either.  "You won."  They stood and graciously thanked the crowd for their support.  Backstage, Scott was bouncing around talking about a virtual tie, which made Meryl and Charlie happier about receiving gold medals.  It snapped them out of their mixed feelings.  This was the biggest win of their career.  It was a good thing.


	17. Chapter 17

January 2010

Spokane

 

The practice ice was different from any other Nationals Meryl had attended.  Usually there was a festive atmosphere and lots of reunions between skaters and former coaches and each other.  This time is was very, very quiet, music aside.  Skaters whispered tense conversations at the boards with their teams.  They gave the couple whose music was playing a wide berth.  There was much less laughter.  The judges, too, were all business taking notes and not chatting.  It was a bit much.

Meryl didn't need any additional stress.  The Nationals showdown between them and Belbin and Agosto was finally here. Marina was about to come out of her skin; Meryl had never seen her so excited and nervous. She wished everyone would take a breath and calm down. She spent most of her non-ice time in her room.  She didn't know and didn't want to know if Tanith and Charlie were sharing.  She assumed not, but he didn't confide in her anything about the relationship. He had worked his butt off to be ready to compete, and that's all she could ask.

Golden waltz was the selected compulsory dance. It had also been drawn for Worlds.  Meryl had helped design a bright violet evening dress, and Charlie was in white tie and tails.  It was the first big difference between them and Tanith and Ben.  The other team were dressed head to toe in white and looked very European.  It was a risky choice after the feedback they got at Champs Camp. Igor suspected it was a play directly for the international judging panel at the Olympics.  Tanith and Ben skated early and put up a huge score. Meryl and Charlie skated as well as they ever had and led by half a point.  Marina couldn't contain herself.  The other three were subdued.  Meryl was silently thrilled.  She guessed Charlie had some mixed feelings.

Meryl messed up the twizzles in the original dance.  It was just a focus break, like she hadn't had in forever.  She couldn't believe it; she wanted to cry.  The scores took forever to come up, and she was convinced she had ruined it for the team.  Miraculously, they increased their lead.  The judges apparently loved the Indian folk dance much more than Tanith and Ben's Moldavian dance.  Meryl was giddy after the scores. 

"That's it," Igor declared.  "Stay on your feet in the free, and you've won it." 

Tanith and Ben showed up for the last phase in bizarre, over the top costumes for their _Ave Maria_ program.  They had started the season in simple black, which Meryl felt perfectly showcased their beautiful dance.  Now Tanith looked like a tawdry angel and Ben looked like Jesus Elvis, the Vegas years.

"What are they thinking?" Meryl whispered to Charlie.  "Did you know about this?"

"No. I'm serious, Meryl, we don't talk a lot about training."

"Igor and his European judges theory?"

"I guess."

"Would you wear something like that if Marina strongly suggested it."

"No," he said flatly.  "I've ventured outside comfortable before, but no way.  But let's be honest, Meryl, our taste has always been somewhat different to theirs."

Meryl was glad he had said it.  It wasn't the first time Tanith had surprised her with costume choices, but this was in a class by itself. It added to the odd atmosphere in the arena. Meryl wondered what she would do if her coaches were convinced a certain path was the right way to win, and it was untenable to her.  This seemed much larger than the POTO conflict she had gotten past.  Who knows, maybe Tanith and Ben loved the campiness of their current look.  It seemed a bit desperate, though. How much was too much?

Tanith and Ben skated very well, but the crowd was subdued.  They still put up a great score.  Meryl was as nervous as she had ever been as they took the ice.  The program carried them, though, so well designed by Marina and Igor.  Meryl could hardly breathe until she got through the twizzles.

"Yes!" She said out loud as they moved on.  They hit everything just right, and the crowd leaped to their feet at the end.

"I think we've got it," Charlie breathed into her ear.  Igor and Marina were standing at the boards with their arms around each other.  They must think so,too.  Meryl wrapped her arms around Charlie as they skated to the gate.  He was not ambivalent anymore, not even a little bit. Igor scooped Meryl into his arms.

"Wow! Oh my God!"  He said.

Marina had Charlie.  The four of them walked in a daze to the kiss and cry.  The scores came up quickly this time.  They won decisively.  It was overwhelming and amazing.  She reached for Charlie, but he was distracted, cheering for Evan Bates who was about to take the ice with Emily.  Meryl felt a little bit lost and just a little let down. 

The mood didn't improve at the awards.  Knowing that they were going to the Olympics was surreal and hadn't fully sunk in.  Tanith was crying with her parents at the boards.  Ben was smiling as always.  Charlie was subdued. Evan and Emily were thrilled.  The fourth place team, Brent and Kim, were devastated.  Kim was also crying. 

"This is brutal," she whispered to Charlie. "It's not fun."

"It will be, but yeah, this is pretty bad."  They skated around waving at the crowd. "Congratulations, though!" He laughed.

They got their medals, and by the time Meryl was back in the hotel room it was after midnight.  She did a little private happy dance and was too excited to sleep. 

She watched Jeremy kill it the next day and win the men's competition overwhelmingly.  They all got their official notifications that they had made the Olympic team.  Tanith was in a much better mood, and they all celebrated at the banquet that night.  Meryl and Jeremy danced all night.

"See Bradley over there?" Jeremy said in here ear, indicating Ryan Bradley.

"Yeah?"

"He looks like he could use some cheering up," Jeremy teased her.

"Really?"

"Yes, I've heard he would be interested in some Meryl lovin' in particular."

"Oh, is this what you hear? But I have you!"

"I'm just saying.  Something to store away for later, maybe."

"Why, thank you."

He swung her around, and Meryl laughed and threw her arms around him. Vancouver, people!


	18. Chapter 18

February 2010

Vancouver

 

**Meryl**

 

Meryl had pictured competing in the Olympics for as long as she was aware of them.  For the last two years, as actually qualifying for them became more and more realistic, she had thought about them every night before she went to sleep.  She pictured herself marching in the opening ceremonies in her Team USA gear.  She pictured skating with Charlie--more and more detailed as they chose and trained the programs.  She fantasized about living in the village.  She steeled herself to not have unrealistic expectations as to how great it would all be.  After all, in many ways it as just another skating competition.

But she never could have guessed how much fun it all turned out to be.  As soon as she and Charlie qualified at Nationals, they were inundated with interview requests.  For the five weeks between Nationals and leaving for Vancouver, it was almost like living in Japan with the level of attention they got.  The rink was a circus with the US and Canadian media there almost every day.  She had never felt closer to Tessa and Scott, who were experiencing it all for the first time as well. 

Marina and Igor tried to help them focus.  They called in an expert to drill them on the compulsory rhythm, Tango Romantica.  Meryl's fondness for the tango was growing although she dearly wished she could add a couple of inches to her legs to help out with the beautiful lines that could be achieved.  Charlie was working tirelessly on expression.  They both speculated that it would not be their strongest portion of the competition, but they wanted to stay in striking distance.  The Canton team had a send-off dinner at a local restaurant two days before they all left for Vancouver, and Meryl sat by Igor and shamelessly picked his brain.

"Seriously, though, if you had to guess." She looked him square in the eye to parry his trying to weasel out of the question.

"Meryl! I can't possibly... look...easy money on Oksana and Maxim.  They're Russian, and they're reigning world champions.  You know this..."

"But..." Meryl prompted him.

"But, he's injured and that OD..."

The Russians had shocked the skating world with the supposed aboriginal inspired "folk dance" they had chosen...and performed. In brown face.  They had debuted it at Russian Nationals, and it was all any one could talk about. 

"So, you think they're not a shoe-in."

Igor looked at her and smiled.  "I think it's Tessa and Scott's to lose.  Sorry to be blunt--don't, Meryl, don't let that affect your confidence, but if you want a realistic guess, that's what I think. Home ice advantage."

"I think so, too." She playfully patted his arm.  "Don't worry, we're not giving up, but realistically, we would be thrilled to medal."

"I think you will," Igor told her with a smile.  She looped her arm around his and put her head on his shoulder. 

They arrived at the Olympic village a few days before opening ceremonies.  Meryl was rooming with Emily Samuelson.  They weren't super-close friends, but Emily was sweet and unobjectionable.  For reasons Meryl never quite grasped, she was not a favorite of Evan or Charlie, who made fun of her--if not exactly meanly, then certainly persistently--behind her back.

"You guys make me paranoid," Meryl had told them.

"Aw, Meryl, we don't talk about you!" Charlie insisted.

"Yeah, Meryl, you can hang," Evan assured her.

"Thanks?" Meryl replied.

Meryl ended up enjoying getting to know Emily better and resolved to herself to take up for her more aggressively from then on. She wished, though, she could have roomed with Tessa.  She missed her friend, and it would have been calming to have her around more.  They saw each other at practice but were separated by countries a lot of the time.  She, Charlie and Igor walked together at the opening ceremonies, and spotted Marina, Tessa and Scott in the Team Canada crowd.

It surprised Meryl that the Olympics were very much like summer camp with high stakes competition thrown in.  The atmosphere on the practice ice was completely different than it had been at Nationals.  This was a big party in comparison, although the judges were just as serious.  Around the boards, though, everyone was thrilled to have those Olympic credentials around their necks. 

All the skaters from Team USA attended the pairs' and men's competitions, ecstatic about Evan Lysacek's win.  Meryl felt terrible for Jeremy, who succumbed to nerves and finished disappointingly, but Jeremy shook it off and was determined to enjoy himself in spite of the results.  Johnny Weir was an adorable spectacle and skated the best he had in years.  It was so exciting, and Meryl was ready for her turn.

She couldn't remember much from the actual skate.  It went better than she even dreamed.  They got the goofy, non-fierce music, but it didn't matter.  Their scores were unbelievably high, and Meryl couldn't wait to celebrate off-camera.  41.47:  two points higher than their best score.  As the evening went on, Oksana and Maxim scored in the mid 43s, and Tanith and Ben were in the high 40s.  Tessa and Scott skated, and scored--you guessed it--in the 42s.  Meryl rolled her eyes, and was caught on camera.

Much online speculation ensued.  Most were convinced that she was pissed off about the Canadians beating them.  Yeah, no.  It was just so clear what the judges were doing. There was a four-way race for medals.

Domnina and Shabalin 43

Virtue and Moir 42

Davis and White 41

Belbin and Agosto 40

The next closest team were Isa and Olivier, who hadn't been training very long because of Isa's pregnancy and birth of her son.  They were down three points from Tanith and Ben.

And yes, part of the eye-roll was because of Maxim.  Meryl liked him quite a bit.  He was adorable and could be rather flirty.  But he could hardly walk.  This was their strongest stage by far, and Meryl suspected the judges were helping them out.

Igor laughed but scolded her.

"You have to be more careful."

"I know, I can't believe I let myself do that.  But really, Igor, how did they put Tessa and Scott behind them?"

"They were good, Oksana and Max. It's not over."

Charlie teased her about keeping that attitude in check.  They were both thrilled to be in the medal hunt.  Tanith and Ben were focused on each other, and Meryl had her old Charlie back.  They ate their meals together and talked constantly.  Meryl felt like they were getting caught up on a year's worth of conversation.

"Has Tanith talked to you about their plans after this?" She asked him, trying to keep her tone light although she was dying to know the answer.

"They're retiring for sure. They're done."

"Wow."

"Tanith is moving back to Michigan as soon as we get home."

Meryl's heart sank a little, and she chastised herself for it.  It would be great to have her old friend back.

"We're going to get a place together." Charlie looked at her, clearly wanting her approval.

"Charlie! Oh my gosh.  That's really...it's so grown up." Meryl laughed and patted him on the arm.  They hadn't ever talked about retiring themselves, and Meryl assumed they would continue, but a tiny bit of doubt crept in just then.  "What do you think about..."

"What?"

"I mean, you still plan to compete, for us to compete?"

"Meryl!"

"What..."

"Are you serious? Of course I plan to keep going.  Don't you?"

"Yes."

Charlie hugged her.  "You worried me there for a second.  Tanith is going to start school.  She totally supports us."

"Supports you and me?"

"Yes, weirdo, what did you think?" Charlie laughed. "I definitely want to come back for 2014."

"It's huge, right? I mean, this has been crazy but I can't imagine not wanting to come back."

"Good," Charlie was clearly relieved. "I wonder about Tessa and Scott."

"She seems like she's still in constant pain." They were sitting on a short brick wall in front of the Team America house. Meryl had one leg bent in front of her, between them.

"It reminds me of how she was walking before the first surgery."

"Exactly.  I hate it for her.  And Scott," Meryl looked up at the approaching shuttle.

"I know." The shuttle pulled up, and they boarded for OD practice.

 

**Charlie**

 

They slayed the original dance.  So much stronger than at Nationals.  Fierce Meryl was a vision.  They passed the Russians and their bizarre program by almost five points.  They were just under Tessa and Scott, who were the obvious crowd favorites and who were probably going to win.  He felt bad for Tanith, scored just under Oksana and Maxim, but he was determined to hang on the silver with Meryl.  He pulled her into his arms backstage as she was still trying to catch her breath from the dance but also from kiss and cry nerves.

"You were amazing! I was almost scared, you were so focused."

"After those twizzles at Nationals, I've been driving myself crazy," she said into his neck.

"Well, they were perfect.  Augh!" He yelled as a kind of war whoop.  They took their seats to watch Tessa and Scott, who skated their OD the best Charlie had ever seen it and led them by a point and a half by the end of the night.  They waited for the Canadians to talk to the local press and then grabbed them for congratulations.

"Chuck, how did you guys do?" Scott was giddy.

"Great! Second place." Charlie laughed.  The girls huddled together, talking excitedly.

"One more day!" Scott man-hugged Charlie.

"Good luck, man!"

He glanced at Tanith across the room, but she was having an intense conversation with her coach.  He stared at her until he caught her eye and was able to pass a smile between them.  He followed Meryl out the door and onto the shuttle.

They had a quiet practice day, and then it was time for the free dance.  They had the first draw in the last group, which wasn't great strategically, but was good for nerves. The announcer said their names and then told the crowd they were skating to _The Phantom of the Opera_.

"Good lord," Meryl said under her breath and giggled just a little.  Charlie laughed.  God, he loved her.

"Keep it together, Charlie," she teased him

"You, too, Davis."  They hit their opening position and breathed.

It felt like it hadn't felt since Worlds in Los Angeles. They were so connected in every element, in every motion. He fell into her arms at the end and embraced her--so long that he felt a bit self conscious and broke the hug.

"Wow, Charlie," she whispered.

"I know." They skated to the boards with their arms around each other.

Marina and Igor were just as excited.  They got fantastic scores and kept their game faces.  They had to sit through four more programs.

Tessa and Scott brought the house down, of course.  Charlie and Meryl held on to second place by a wide margin.  This time he and Meryl didn't even wait for their Canadian friends to finish their interviews.  They grabbed them in a four way hug.  Charlie couldn't have been happier.  Scott belted out _Oh Canada_ on the podium, and Charlie tried not to laugh too hard. Meryl was a little bit less charmed.  She put put her mouth right to Charlie's ear, as they started to skate around the arena with the American flag.

"Gold next time," she whispered."

"Absolutely!" He said out loud and took her hand.

 

 

The rest of the time in Vancouver was just a party.  He practically moved in to Tanith's room.  Her roommate, Johnny Weir, was almost never there.  Charlie and Tanith were pretty much inseparable.

 _I get to have sex at the Olympics_ , he thought but didn't share.  His fourteen year old self would have died from being so impressed. He didn't see Meryl nearly as much as he had the first week and a half.  She was mostly with her family.  He caught her eye at lunch one day and a silent thought passed between them.

_You are amazing._

_You are the best._

They would be back on the ice in a matter of days preparing for Worlds; he couldn't get too sentimental. But forever the prevailing memory of these Olympics wasn't skating on the ice for the first time, staying in the village, long afternoons in Tanith's room, the opening ceremonies or even getting the medals. It was skating that free dance, good ol' POTO, with Meryl and ending up with her on center ice.


	19. Chapter 19

March 2010

Torino, Italy

 

Meryl felt like she was flying across the ice, one blade on the back of Charlie's leg, hands reaching to the top of the arena.  The crowd gasped and cheered.  Meryl could feel her smile take over her face.  She pivoted down onto her own skate and then lunged to meet Charlie's arms, her head at his chest.  He looked at her with wild, happy eyes.

"Breathe, Charlie," she laughed in his ear before they were up and transitioning into the twizzles.  Fantastic.  So much better than yesterday.  They glided into the last step sequence.

"Hold on, Charlie!" She gasped as they finished the pass.  She could tell he didn't have a lot left.  He threw her up on his shoulders and spun.  She could hear him struggle to breathe.  She flew out of the lift and into the modified throw, landing with as much finesse as she could muster.  Finished!

He could hardly rise.  Nothing there.  She felt more joy than she had since skating in LA last year in front of that crowd.  The Olympics had been indescribably exciting, but this had been fun.  They had never skated ol' POTO like this.  It was the perfect way to end.  And the Italian crowd was amazing. 

They bowed and bowed and then she skated towards Marina with her arms around him.

"Charlie, Charlie!  That was great!" She gasped.  He couldn't speak.

Marina and Igor were beaming as they handed Meryl and Charlie their skate guards.  Marina took Charlie in her arms and said, "Your best!" before she left them to be with Tessa and Scott before their skate.  They went to the kiss and cry with Igor, and the scores came up quickly.  110.49.  Three points higher than the Olympics.  They were ushered into chairs to wait for the Canadians to skate and the championship to be decided.  Tessa and Scott had over a point and a half lead, in spite of being rather lackluster in the first two rounds.  Igor hadn't said anything to Meryl since they had been in Italy, but she knew Tessa and Scott would have to have a major mistake not to win here.  There were thirteen points between the top two teams and the next two, which was hard for Meryl to comprehend.

Something was going on with her knee.  She looked down and saw blood and slightly torn fishnets.  She remembered lunging with gusto that last bit of the program.  It didn't hurt, exactly.  She could still hardly breathe.  Charlie had a wad of tissue he had been coughing into.  Probably not ideal.  She looked around for the ubiquitous rink-side tissue box, just as a volunteer handed her a damp cloth.

"Grazie mille!" Meryl told her and applied the cloth to her knee.  Charlie looked down at it.

"Shit!" he managed to wheeze out.

"It doesn't hurt."  They looked on the ice at their competitors.

"This is...not great."  Charlie said.  He was right.  It wasn't terrible, but it was far from their best.  Tessa was having a hard time keeping up, and it lacked the connection they'd had in Vancouver. Still, they were keeping upright.

 

The four weeks between coming home from Vancouver and leaving for Torino had been crazy at the rink.  Tessa was in pain every time she skated, but Arctic Edge was swarming with Canadian press, and Tessa and Scott didn't want to go public with how much she was struggling.  She and Scott had become legitimate celebrities in Canada after their win, and they were in big demand.  Tessa had to limit her training time, and Scott was going nuts at the rink without her at full capacity. 

All of Canada seemed to be hoping that they would fall in love.  They were asked constantly if they were dating.  Scott was actually with a Canadian pairs skater, and Tessa had dated several guys since Fedor.  But people were invested in Tessa and Scott being a couple.  It was baffling and a bit disturbing to Meryl.  Why did anyone care? 

Charlie and Tanith were slowly going public.  The general consensus seemed to be _oh, that's adorable!_ To her knowledge, no one had reacted with _But he should be with Meryl!_   She was perfectly fine with that, of course, but she wondered why the Canadians were apparently able to sell their on-ice chemistry so well.  Maybe that was their edge. 

She and Charlie had gotten some press attention, too, after their silver medal, but it was mostly local.  They had been honored at city hall and at the capitol in Lansing.  Mostly they had been training hard for Worlds.  With the Olympic pressure off, they were skating better than they had all season, and the programs were improving.  They focused on their transitions trying to maximize those points. There was a glaring difference between Meryl and Charlie's free dance and Tessa and Scott's:  the former was packed with content, while the latter, beautiful and difficult in the elements, had a lot of skating and posing in between.  It went unspoken about because there was a certain balance and vibe that was maintained at the rink to facilitate a cordial work environment, but Meryl suspected everyone had noticed.

Igor had told her soon after they were home from the Olympics it was highly improbable that Meryl and Charlie would win in Torino.  He had that cute, sad tone he used when he was trying to prepare her for disappointment, and his argument made perfect sense.  The judges wouldn't want people second guessing the Olympic results.  It was empowering, though, to train as if they would win and skate their best every day.  They might never defeat the Canadians again, but they wouldn't give up.

One other little thing had happened in that four week period.  It started because Scott had been teasing her about the huge St. Patrick's day party the fraternities and sororities at Michigan put on every year.  It was a big, drunken blur of a weekend.  Meryl had never gone because it had always been right before Worlds.  This year, she had promised her sisters to at least put in appearance.  Scott desperately wanted to go.

"Come on, Merlin, you can just pretend I'm your date."

"I don't think Jessica would appreciate that.  And I'm staying for all of twenty minutes.  You know as many Tri-Delts as I do, I'm sure someone would be happy to take you."

"But that really would get me in trouble. Pleeeeeaaaase!"

"Forget it, Moir."

"The St. Patrick's thing?" Fedor was at the next table staring at his phone. Meryl had no idea he was listening to them.  He had spoken directly to her a very few number of times.  "I wanna go."  He looked up from his phone directly at Meryl.  His green eyes made her stomach flip, just a little.

"I really don't plan to stay long at all, but sure, you can come."

"What the fuck, Davis?" Scott bellowed.

"I don't have a girlfriend," Fedor said nonchalantly.

"I'm not asking you to go steady, just take me to the goddamned party!"

"You can tag along if Jessica doesn't mind," Meryl could feel her Tri-Delt stock rising as she spoke. In the end, Marina strongly suggested to Scott that he stay at the rink that afternoon, so Meryl and Fedor, decked out festively for the occasion, drove to campus in his Honda SUV.  Meryl was nervous, but they chatted easily about rink gossip.  It was rumored that Tessa had had an affair with a seemingly happily married, very famous Canadian pairs skater.  Fedor thought it was definitely true.  Meryl suspected it was, too, but she stood up for her friend.  "I'm telling you, no way!" Fedor's apartment was close to campus, so they parked there and and walked.

Several blocks of Greek Row in Ann Arbor had been cordoned off, and the party was in full-swing, music blaring and all kinds of fun debauchery in plain sight.

"I'm going to get us something to drink," Fedor shouted. 

"Nothing green!" she shouted back.  She spotted some friends and ran over.

"He's more beautiful in person!" Sarah said in her ear. 

"Right?"

"Are you done training for today?"

"Yeah, but I can't stay too long.  We leave for Italy in five days.  Fedor returned with a normal colored beer for her, and she introduced him around.  As soon as she finished her drink, he scooped her up and practically carried her to the area where people were dancing.  He grabbed her around the waist and they started moving together.  He was a great dancer.

"You probably don't want another drink?" he asked after they had danced to four songs.

"Better not."

He nodded.  "Let's find some water."  He took her by the hand and they ended up in a frat house kitchen, which did have a water-stocked fridge.  Some girls Meryl knew slightly came in and screamingly hugged her like they were best friends.

"Let me take your picture!" one of them yelled.  Fedor boosted Meryl on his shoulders. "Look fierce!" the girl yelled.  Are we deaf? Meryl thought, but she make the appropriately goofy face.  Fedor put her down.

"Let's go dance some more," she told him.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, do you want to?"

"Of course!"

They danced for another hour, which went by like a shot. Her feet were starting to hurt, and she knew she had to get off them or she would be sore tomorrow. He walked her to the Tri-Delt house, holding her hand.  They passed an alley way, and he pulled her in and kissed her.  She put her arms around his neck and kissed him back.  He lifted her off the ground slightly.  She didn't want to stop.

"Do you want to go to my apartment?"

She did.  It was all pretty damned good.  And she would have an earful for Jeremy.  He drove her back to the house just before midnight.

"Hey," he said softly as he parked in front of the house.

"Hey," she said, trying not to smile too hard.  He walked her to the door and kissed her gently.  She practically swooned as soon as she was on the other side of the door, happy that the front room was empty.

Sarah wasn't back yet, so Meryl was able to go to bed without having to tell the whole story. 

She and Fedor were casual at the rink, but they started texting a lot.  She was headed on tour right after Worlds, so the timing wasn't ideal, but she hoped they would hook up some more when she got back.  It had been the best sex she had ever had by far, and as embarrassing as it was that he had been with Tanith and Tessa, she wanted more.

Charlie's radar was immediately piqued.

"What's going on with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"What's with all the smiling?" He laughed that loud, Charlie laugh.

"Shut up! I always smile."

"No, you don't!"

"We're going to Italy in two days, Charlie."

"Yeah, maybe." He squinted at her.  "Nah.  That's okay.  I'll figure it out."

Meryl resolved not even to look at Fedor at the rink.  She poured it all into the damn transitions.

 

Tessa and Scott finished their program and looked relieved.  They had stayed on their skates the whole time. Igor practically carried Tessa to the kiss and cry.

"They need 108.63 to win." Charlie had his breath back.  Meryl patted his knee nervously. "Which they don't deserve," he whispered out of the corner of his mouth.

"No, they don't."

110.03.  They won easily.  Meryl and Charlie barely edged them out on a free dance they should have won by five points.  Six.

"Suck it up," Charlie laughed.

"I'm sucking," she laughed back.

 

_Oh, Canada!_

_This song has lost its charm._

_Scott, go kick rocks,_

_And Tessa take his arm._

 

The hidden rhyming talents of Meryl Davis, silver medalist for life.


End file.
